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Letting out a heavy sigh, I shook my head and pulled away from him. “Never mind.”
He followed me. “Just wait a fucking second.”
“I’ll stay in the clubhouse. It’s fine. You do what you’ve gotta do.” I turned on my heel and took two large steps, reaching for the door handle, but I should have known he would never just let me leave. You didn’t just walk away from a man like Bishop. I twisted the knob and pulled on the door, but he quickly came up behind me, slamming both his hands against it to force it closed again and pin me in.
With his chest pressed to my back, I knew the only way I would get out of there was if I listened to what he had to say, whether I liked it or not.
I should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe then it wouldn’t feel like someone had my heart in their fist, squeezing the life out of it, keeping it from pounding the way it did when you’re falling for someone.
When you’re drawn to someone.
Despite all the ways Bishop frustrated me, I’d always felt safe with him. Like he’d never let anyone harm me. Maybe I’d become a little too focused on that, but when fear has a prominent place in your life, you have to lean into anything that soothes or placates that feeling of perpetual panic.
Maybe I’d just leaned a little too far.
“We aren’t done.” His gravelly voice tickled my ear, sending a shiver from the base of my spine straight up through my neck. I held my breath, slowly turning to face him.
Bishop didn’t give me any breathing room, continuing to press his hands to the door on either side of my body, forcing me to plaster my back against it just so I could see his face.
“I let my feelings run away with me,” I murmured, avoiding eye contact by looking everywhere but his face. Instead, I eyed the well-worn and weathered president’s patch on his chest. The tattoo of a chess board poking out just below his sleeve. A couple of white hairs twisted through his beard that gave him a dangerous but distinguished look. “I’m really fucking embarrassed about it, but I understand loud and clear. You don’t feel the same way I do—”
“I never fucking said that.” My heart kicked into overdrive, and the weight of uncertainty began to lift, making breathing easier. There was no way I’d been imagining this shit between us. Every time we were in the same room, it felt like we were preparing for a storm. The energy building, the heart racing. “We’ve had this discussion before. I don’t say or do anything unless I want to. There are no obligations here, especially not with you. You’re so much more than Calli’s friend, but that’s where the problem lies.”
And just as quickly as he’d built me up, he broke me down. There it was—the reason we’d both spent so long fighting this.
Calli.
She was the most important person in our lives, and we would both rather hurt each other and ourselves than hurt her.
He let out a heavy sigh. “If something happens, and I hurt you, she would be devastated. She’d fucking hate me.”
“You don’t think I’m well aware of what’s at risk?” I whispered, my voice catching. “If something goes wrong between us, I risk losing her, you, and the club. You guys have given me something I haven’t had in a long time. You think that doesn’t play on my mind?”
Bishop leaned in, the storm beginning to swirl again as his breath brushed my cheek. “Shay… I can’t…”
His voice vibrated through me like thunder.
But I wasn’t afraid of this storm. I embraced it. I craved it.
I reached up, curling my hand around his neck. “I know you’re thinking about Calli, and I don’t want to hurt her either, but I’m so sick and tired of pretending like this is just some stupid, schoolgirl crush.”
My heart pounded hard, and Bishop’s body practically pressed against mine. I had blood rushing to places I hadn’t felt in a long time.
He inhaled long and deep through his nose. “I…”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The door rattled behind me with the force of someone’s fists. “Prez, I’ve got an update, and it’s not great!” Blue called through the door.
“We’ll continue this later,” Bishop finally growled in my ear before he pulled back, my hand slipping from his neck before he put at least half the room between us.
I missed the heat of his body instantly, but he was right. This wasn’t the right time for us to be arguing about this.
There was something else going on, and by the sound of Blue’s voice, it was serious.
I paused for a breath first before I turned, grabbed the door handle, pulled it open, and stepped to the side.
Blue walked in with no emotion on his face, not even a twitch of a reaction to the thick tension in the room. “You were right. He sent someone straight to their apartment. Filled the place with bullets.”
