AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “I can’t do this right now. I have a really bad headache.”
He walks to the kitchen and shakes a few pills loose from a bottle, swallowing them with a half-empty bottle of water from the counter.
“When can you do it?” I ask. “When can we talk if not now? As far as I can tell, it’s just you and me here, and a headache isn’t a stroke.”
He’s not getting rid of me that easy. Did I mention that the rat outside came within two feet of me? “Do you want me to take back my offer? Fine. I can take it back. You want me to get a job? A degree? I’ll look into it. Do you want me to pretend like nothing ever happened between us? Dream the fuck on.”
“I don’t want anything from you. I want to be left alone. Are you not listening? I can’t do this. Not now, not in a week—not next year. I can’t do this. I’m not okay.”
“I’ll give you you’re not okay—that’s obvious, but you can’t do this? Bullshit. Last night, you were all in on moving in with me and having Elodie as a roommate. I make one shitty comment, and all of a sudden, you’re what? Back to wanting to leave the city?”
“It’s not about the one shitty comment.”
I am not reassured, but I’m trying really hard not to act like I’m on the verge of a complete meltdown. “What, then? What do you want?”
“If I tell you, are you going to give it to me?”
“Maybe. Try me.”
“I want you to do whatever the fuck you want. If that’s to stay rich and spoiled and marry Elodie so you can inherit a company you have no clue how to run—do that. If you want to get a job or a degree, go for it. If you want me—tell me.”
“I want you. How many ways do you want me to say it?”
“I don’t mean physically—I mean in your life?—”
“So do I.”
He grips the edge of the counter and hangs his head between tense shoulders.
I’m officially as frustrated as he is. “You don’t have a clue what you want, Drew. Or if you do, you’re not saying it.”
“Fine,” he grits out. “I don’t want to share you. I don’t want to share you with Elodie, or your parents. I don’t want to be a dirty secret you have to keep. I don’t want to be your fucking doorman.”
I suck in a breath, but it meets resistance when my chest clamps down. That’s it? He wants to be my boyfriend? I wish this were simpler, but it’s so complicated. Between wanting to help Elodie and wanting to keep Drew at all costs, I’m genuinely torn. Choosing him in that way means losing everything else I have, and screwing Elodie over in the process.
But the truth is the truth. “That’s what I want, too.”
“But?”
So he heard that, did he? I sigh. “This doesn’t just affect me. And you can’t just say something like you don’t trust me without knowing how hard it is for me to trust you. On the one hand, it’s weirdly reassuring that you’re willing to just walk away, but on the other hand—what if you go public? What if you blackmail me or my family? Or Elodie? What if you end up getting me to agree to all these impossible terms, and then you get sick of me and fuck someone else like you cheated on Jericho? You think I don’t have a few things holding me back here?”
His eyes burn with rage that feels as harsh as a physical shove. “Get out.”
“Please stop,” I say. “I need us to stop fighting.”
“I don’t care what you need,” he says, his voice as cold as the first time he knocked on my penthouse door.
I bark out a laugh. “I don’t believe that, either.”
“What do you want?” he shouts. “You keep asking what I want even though you don’t have a fucking thing to offer—what the hell do you want from me?”
That stings. Why’s he been hanging around so much if I have so little to offer him? He’s trying to hurt me. He might even be trying to scare me. Too bad for him—I’m reckless.
“I want you to be patient, Drew. With the situation. With me. I want you to stop running and stay put for two seconds. I want you to stop expecting me to change my entire life for someone I’ve been hooking up with less than a month.”
He shakes his head again like I’m just not getting it. “I can’t afford to be patient. I’m out of money. I’m out of time. And I don’t want to be here anymore.”
The last part comes out sounding so final, I swear something inside me dies, but it makes room for something altogether new and unexpected. An overwhelming desire to do something.
