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I shook my head.
I swallowed.
I felt the pain shoot across my chest again and into my throat. “What if I lose her?”
“You’re not going to lose her—”
I pounded my fist against the elevator wall. “You don’t know that!” I inhaled as deeply as I could. “You don’t fucking know that.”
“We’re going there now, and we’re going to be there when she gets out of surgery,” Holden said.
He was calm.
Too goddamn calm.
“I was so mad at her.” My voice was gone. Only a whisper was left. “Mad about the article. Mad about the plaque. Mad that she hadn’t told me.” The ache dived into my stomach and churned. “And while I was mad, she was fucking hurting. While I was screaming, she was on her way to the hospital.”
Easton threw his arm around my shoulders, shaking me. “It’s going to be all right, buddy. I promise.”
But he didn’t know that.
He was just filling me with false promises.
The only thing that would take this feeling away was seeing my baby, wrapping my arms around her, and having her look me in the eyes and tell me she was all right.
Silence stretched across the small room, but nothing in my head was quiet.
The guilt was eating at my skin.
The fear was knocking on every muscle.
The worry was slicing right through me.
“I promised her father,” I whispered. I didn’t realize I’d been staring at the floor, and I glanced up, looking at Holden’s face since Easton was beside me and too close. “I promised him nothing would happen to her while she was with me ... and look who the liar is now.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Jovana
I was floating. Drifting through the thickness of clouds, my body completely weightless. There were no sensations aside from happiness. I felt like a living, walking smile. As if that emotion had been wrapped in a bow and were radiating through my body.
But as I was soaring through the fluff, there was something else.
Something that began to surface through the clouds.
Something . . . dark.
Cold.
That—suddenly—veered toward . . . ouch.
Oh God, it was so painful.
And I was bouncing between the two.
Until I couldn’t.
Until my eyes were fighting to open, and my lungs were filling, and I was gripping something warm and dense, and I didn’t know what that thing was—
