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I was saving his spot for him, I guess. Or I thought that if I used it, if I changed anything, then I’d bring down some curse and he’d never come back. Just like our dad had died, something could happen to Eli. For a while Mom thought I’d become a priest because I took a religious turn after we lost Dad. I took to walking to church every morning before class, but she didn’t know I was praying like a selfish, desperate kid—don’t take anyone else, please. Not my mom, not my brothers. Let this be enough. I won’t complain. Just don’t take anyone else from me.
It reassured my mom, and she thought I was getting comfort from all that church attendance. She was dealing with Ty who had gone off the rails when Dad got sick. He’d always been a prankster, but he was in detention about every week after that. The teachers were trying to be patient and sympathetic, but it was like he wouldn’t let them be nice to him. At her wit’s end, my mom even asked if my priest could speak to Ty, to give him some guidance the way he helped me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t know the dude’s name. I didn’t even pay attention in church. I just bit my nails and prayed the same silent chant of terror over and over. Going every day was a superstition for me, a charm that I thought would protect my family. For an entire year, I went to church every single day.
At this point I have my anxiety under control. The structure and discipline in the military worked wonders. The only concession I make is a daily, one-time check on the location of my brothers. Except in this case it made me pinch the bridge of my nose against a tension headache that roared to life. Because I hadn’t figured on two of my brothers being in Jasmine’s room past midnight.
Knowing my bros, they weren’t in there playing Monopoly. I reminded myself they’re all consenting adults, and it seemed that Ty and Drew decided to have a threesome with our indispensable assistant and close family friend. I suppressed a groan and opened the group chat.
Ty, Drew, let the woman get some rest.
Ty replied instantly.WTF? You got tracking devices on us now?
No, ur careless w your phones and share location is on.
I smirked as Ty switched off his location feature.
Eli popped up in the chat,Ty and Drew r boning Jas? I wasn’t invited.
I answered,Go to sleep Eli I’ll handle this
Irubbed my forehead in irritation.
11
ELI
Iwasn’t scheduled on a job till mid-afternoon, so I hung around the house until Jasmine woke up. Usually she walked to work from her apartment, but we lived farther away so I volunteered to drive her in to the office. I had finished my workout and breakfast, and I was checking my emails when she wandered into the kitchen, fresh from her shower. Her hair was wet and twisted on top of her head in a messy looking knot. She looked at me and shook her head.
“How are you so bright-eyed this morning?” she asked.
“Easy, I went to bed alone. Got tons of sleep. Unlike some people.”
“If you’d been in on it I’d understand the shit-eating grin, but I’m confused. Shouldn’t you be jealous or giving me crap about this?” She looked genuinely off balance.
“Why?” I asked. “I’m a grown man, Jas. I’m not jealous of my own brothers, and I’d never give you crap about something like this. You’ve known me a couple years now. Have I been judgmental about anything other than the tofu nonsense?”
“No, you’re all pretty accepting. It’s one of the things I love about you. I want to be up front with everybody. I’ve never done anything like this before in my life.”
“Hey, as long as you are comfortable with it, that’s all that matters.”
She hugged me and went to the refrigerator. “I really should’ve grabbed my cereal or something yesterday. I was in a big hurry and didn’t think to bring anything to eat.”
“I made you a smoothie when I mixed mine up. It’s in the fridge. Blueberries, chia seeds, lots of good stuff.”
“You guys don’t have to feed me.”
“Please,” I said. “You don’t have to bring your own groceries or mop the floors and sing to the mice or whatever Cinderella did.”
She rewarded me with a smile for my lame attempt at humor. It bothered me to see her worried and upset. I got the smoothie out of the fridge and offered it to her.
“Thank you. Did you draw the short straw and have to drive me in today?”
“I wanted to. I don’t work ‘til three. Which you know because you make the schedule,” I grinned. She smiled back and drank her smoothie.
“That’s not bad. I’m going to get dressed really quick and we can go. Thanks for waiting on me.”
“You don’t have to hurry,” I called after her.
“You may not work till three, but I have to be there in like forty-five minutes.”
