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“I know you’re young, that we’re new, and there is so much to learn about each other, but I fucking love you, and I’m going to spend my life showing you just how much. Whatever this test says won’t change anything.” His dark eyes search mine, imploring me to believe him.
“I know that, Adonis.” Pressing my palms to his naked chest, I enjoy the way his muscles ripple under my fingers. The way the warmth penetrates my flesh and makes me tingly all over.
Pressing his lips to my forehead, I take a deep breath before reaching over and grabbing the test. I don’t know whether I want it to be positive or negative; I figure I’ll find out once I see it.
“Are you going to look?” he asks, and I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut tighter. “Want me to tell you?” His tone is neutral, so I can’t even get a hint.
“No. I just need a second,” I whisper.
“It’s okay if you don’t want one yet. I can’t say I’ll be alright with birth control if we need it, but I’ll try. I’d do anything to make you happy.” Could he be more perfect?
Inhaling a deep lungful, I wait another second before exhaling and opening my eyes…
One pink line.
Negative.
Tears crowd my eyes.
“Baby girl.” Adonis’ strong hand tilts my chin up, and I watch him through glistening tears. I have no idea how to feel. “It’s okay.” He takes the stick from me and tosses it in the trash beside the counter.
“I’m not sure what I’m feeling.” My honesty has him caressing my back.
“How about we take the day, go to the beach, and you can just have a timeout from everything?” I think I love him even more.
Wiping my eyes, I ask him, “Is it safe to do that?”
“I’ll make it so.” I’ve learned to trust Adonis’ promises, so I give him a nod of approval, and he sets everything in motion.
* * *
Two hours later, we’re sitting on a private beach overlooking the ocean, watching the waves roll into the sand and push back out. It’s both relaxing and aggravating.
I want to be in the water, allowing it to wash over me. To cleanse away all the negativity, but Adonis won’t let me with the frigid temperature and the possibility of me getting hurt.
He had an umbrella set up with some lounge chairs on the sand, a cooler filled with brunch items was also delivered; and while I’m enjoying the heat of the sun and the salty spray of the sea, I feel unsettled. I don’t know what I expected after taking that pregnancy test. If I was hoping to be carrying his baby or if I even wanted to. Children aren’t something I’ve thought too much about, but now, it’s all I can think about, and I feel like I’m failing already.
We have so much time to worry about creating a family, that I want to enjoy the alone time we currently have, but I can’t stop wondering, what if…
Would we get married if I were?
Would the threats run dry or amp up?
Would my parents accept my choice of man and finally love me?
I bolt upright at that stupid question. Of course, the answer is no. “What is it?” Adonis asks, immediately at my side and rubbing a soothing hand across my bare back—the bathing suit I have on leaves little to the imagination.
Turning to face him, I blurt out, “I want children. I want a large family filled with love, movie nights, and game nights. Big Sunday dinners and brunch on Saturdays. Beach trips and Disney trips. And I never want them to feel like a burden. Like they have to do something in order to please us and earn our love.”
Concern etches his eyes as he takes in what I said. “Until you, I didn’t realize I wanted that either. We’ll have it one day when it’s the right time.” His easy smile releases some of the tension I’ve been feeling.
“Do you know who attacked me yet?” There are so many uncertainties surrounding us presently that my nerves are frayed around the edges.
Pulling me into his lap, Adonis leans back in the chair. “I have my suspicions, and Zak has secured a meeting tonight. I’m hoping to have things resolved by then.”
“You’re leaving a lot out.” Licking my dry lips, I glance up at him, hoping he’ll expound.
He doesn’t, of course. “I know, baby girl. I want to be certain first.” I have to agree because I know he won’t say a thing until he’s ready. The man is like a brick wall, hiding more secrets than the mortar keeping the bricks in place.
