AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“He wants me gone by the end of the week, but I’m not waiting.”
“Just stay one more night so we can party.”
“What the fuck for? I’m not taking my chances with that motherfucker. He could ruin me.”
Sanchez shook his head and rattled off what I assumed were curse words in Spanish. I knew very little of his native language, but I knew mierda meant shit.
“We could get dinner on my way out. Call up a few guys before I head west,” I told him.
“I’m on it, ese.” He took out his phone and texted our buddies.
I’d take my time driving home and get my head on straight. Monday would begin the next chapter of my life. Hopefully, with Ember…
2
Ember
My mind raced about as fast as my heart. I stared at my ugly nails, wishing I was at the salon getting a manicure instead of my doctor’s office. All weekend, I’d been picking the red polish off while considering my future and dreading Monday’s arrival.
I still didn’t know what I’d do when my doctor asked me for my decision.
My gaze darted between my mom and Birdie, and all I saw were their shadows. The tension in the small office could rival the whiteout conditions we’d had a couple of weeks ago. Chaotic. Thick. Frightening.
January had the propensity to unleash the worst weather in Minnesota, full of subzero temperatures and blizzards. This year seemed to unfold just as it had my whole life. Having grown up in the Upper Midwest, I was used to it. But did I need to experience shitty conditions in the doctor’s office, too?
I focused my attention on the female reproductive poster on the wall behind my doctor’s desk, turning my options over in my head for the millionth time. There were so many pros and cons to consider, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed as I faced my monumental decision.
Why? The single word sliced through my thoughts.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I’d known this day would eventually come. But I’d prayed for a miracle. A miraculous healing so I could live a full, happy life… on my terms.
But today wasn’t how I liked to start a new week, especially in the Cities.
I had a love-hate relationship with Minneapolis because of my doctor’s appointments. Loved the Twin Cities when Birdie and my other friends came for a girls’ weekend. Or when I was younger, and my parents brought Gabe and me to the Mall of America. Those had been some fun trips.
But everything had changed when I turned seventeen and not much made me happy anymore. If I said yes to the procedure, a lot of wonderful things could come of it and put an end to my misery I’d been enduring for years.
Despite my mom finding the best “lady doctor” to treat me, I was so sick and tired of being poked and prodded. Completely over having my vagina invaded by my woman doctor.
At twenty-one, I was still a virgin, and not because I wanted to be. Several times, I’d tried to have sex, but my evil condition would flare up at the worst moment. I’d end up jerking the dude off because I felt bad for getting him worked up and not following through.
I’d recently stopped dating Trey for that very reason, and he was just too nice for my taste. So nice that he’d shown me compassion and understanding when I’d told him I had female issues down there. I’d thought I might scare him away, but not a chance. He had wanted to support me and didn’t care about sex. See? Too nice. It ended up being me to break it off with him. And he cried. And I had felt like a heartless witch.
The nightmare that had become my life kept me from enjoying the simple pleasure of dating and sex. I was fucking over it all.
Why couldn’t I be a normal woman? Why, why, why?
Had I been cursed? Condemned for a sin I had committed? Wasn’t the punishment extreme if I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve it?
Inhaling a deep breath, I placed my hand on my stomach and swallowed my fear. All I wanted was to be pain free. Was that too much to ask for?
“Are you sure about this?” Mom whispered as she squeezed my hand, her sable-brown eyes mirrored mine—full of concern and tears.
