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“She looks like Mommy.”
My blood runs slightly cold, slowing my breathing for half a second. “Your mommy?” I croak.
“She looks just like the picture by my elephant lamp in my room,” Lily reminds me. Heat and cold wash over me in unison.
“She does, doesn’t she?” I rasp.
Until that moment, I truly hadn’t made the connection between Alexandra and Aspen, but now that Lily said it, the resemblance is more than passing. Both share the wide, sloe eyes and thick, russet waves. Aspen is a few inches taller than Lily’s late mother, but their slim, tone figures are the same.
Is that why we were all in consensus with her? Because she reminds us of Alex?
For months following Sonia’s retirement, the three of us could not agree on a single nanny good enough for Lily. If one of us approved, the other two would shut her down. Only two made it to the interview process, and all three of us had nixed them almost as soon as they had walked in the door.
But Aspen is different, and our old-soul ward, with her enormous eyes and absolutely no recollection of her biological parents, likely hit the nail on the head with why.
How did I not see that before?
Zoom! Screech!
“Papa Caden is home!” Lily announces without looking out the window. She knows the sound of his bike and the motors of our individual cars too well.
I glance at the wall clock in the kitchen, ready to huff at Caden for keeping Aspen out past her starting time, but there are still three minutes until the clock strikes nine, and they both amble into the kitchen before I have any right to complain.
I imagine that Aspen arrived better coiffed than she appears in the moment, her shoulder-length hair spilling haphazardly from a bun at the back of her neck. She pulls her skirt down as she moves, slightly wobbly, as if the ground is spinning beneath her. She offers me a sheepish smile, which I can’t help but return. Even in total disarray, she’s so beautiful.
“Hi!” Lily chirps before I can think of something sarcastic to say. “You’re my new nanny!”
I give Caden a side-eye glower, but he snatches up an apple from the fruit bowl and crunches into it, his hazel stare meeting mine evenly.
“I know, Lily,” Aspen replies, pulling her gaze from mine to address our ward. She crouches down. “I’m Aspen. Aspen Palco. I’m so excited to hang out and play with you.”
She extends her hand, and I notice her gleaming nails. She’s obviously given herself a manicure.
Lily seems impressed with the adult way Aspen greets her and accepts her proffered hand.
“And how old are you, Miss Lily? Seven? Eight?” Aspen guesses, her eyes shining.
I step back to stand beside Caden as they interact, my chest tightening to see a wide, genuine grin on Lily’s face.
She is far from an unhappy child, but there has always been something missing in her life: her parents, obviously. As lovely as Sonia was, she was generations out of touch and far too old to keep up with the needs and energy of a curious and rambunctious Lily, particularly in her toddler years. Aspen will be exactly what she needs.
“I’m four!” Lily cries. “I’m not in school yet!”
“Next year,” I interject quickly, tension forming inside me at the mention of school. There are so many additional factors to navigate once she enters the world, ones we can’t protect her from. “We opted out of preschool.”
“I want to go,” Lily mutters, folding her arms over her chest, and again, my heart pierces with worry. “I want to play with other kids.”
“Pre-K isn’t that much fun, anyway,” Aspen confidentially informs Lily, catching my distressed expression. “And you’re going to have lots of other kids to play with, I promise.”
Lily’s face lights up in another smile. “Can we have popsicles for breakfast?” she asks in a loud whisper.
“I’m standing right here, Lily,” I tell her sternly and give Aspen a look of disapproval.
“Let’s assume the same rules apply with me as they do with your—” She abruptly cuts herself off, the blood draining from her face as she looks to us desperately, the question on her face palpable.
She wants to know what Lily calls us.
“Same rules with your nanny as with your papas,” Caden interjects smoothly. “All right, Lilbug?”
