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The heaviness of his statement hurts my heart, the pain in his voice flooding the interior of the car as it slows.
“Ah. We’re here,” he announces, sounding grateful for the shift in conversation. I turn my head to look out the window and notice that splatters of rain have touched the windowpanes in the middle of our discussion.
“We’re in Atlanta!” I’m shocked by the discovery.
Caden snickers. “Of course. We won’t find good fashion in Cypress Gardens, will we?”
I quickly realize that we’re also nowhere near any children’s stores, my suspicion mounting as Ryan pulls up in a “No Stopping” zone.
“I’ll text you when we’re done, Ryan,” Caden informs the driver, collecting Lily in his arms again, but the child stirs awake.
“Where are we?” Lily yawns, rubbing her dark eyes sleepily.
“We’re going shopping, Lilbug,” Caden announces, and suddenly, Lily is wide awake.
“We are?!” she exclaims. “Yay!”
Shaking my head in disbelief, I’m amazed at how well Caden knows the little girl.
He can do no wrong in her eyes. I hope she always sees him as perfect.
I’m seeing Caden the same way.
* * *
It’s becoming obvious that this shopping trip has nothing to do with Lily at all.
“Oh! This will look nice on you, Aspen!” my three-foot-tall fashion assistant informs me.
“I don’t need new clothes,” I insist, thinking about my handsome paycheck disappearing with a single outfit purchase in this too-expensive store.
Why has Caden brought me here? I can’t afford any of this, and I don’t need a new wardrobe.
He pulls me aside.
“I don’t want to make you feel awkward, but I noticed that some of your outfits need a bit of an upgrade. Cypress Gardens is a… connected town. People talk amongst themselves.”
My cheeks flame with embarrassment. I hadn’t thought of that—or budgeted for it, either. The money from my checks is accounted for. I don’t have extra money for clothes of this caliber. But I need to blend in, he’s right. I’ve seen what the other nannies are wearing to the playgroup, and it isn’t thrift-store finds.
How do I tell him I can’t afford it?
I swallow, thinking of the bit of leeway I’ve made on my credit card. Maybe I can get by with an outfit. There’s a bit of room on one credit card.
“Okay,” I agree, stifling the mounting sense of dread that has been threatening to consume me for years.
Damn you, Sean. I hope you’re happy now that you’ve completely ruined my life.
I toss the thought of my ex-fiancé out of my mind and try to find the cheapest outfit I can in the store, but between Caden and Lily, the pile of clothes only gets higher and more expensive. Blood drains out of my face more with each passing moment.
“What’s wrong?” Caden asks, noticing me fighting back tears of frustration. Night has fallen outside, and I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole.
“I’m exhausted. Do you mind if we head home? It’s getting late.”
“I’m hungry, Papa Caden,” Lily concedes. “I want pizza.”
“It seems I’m outnumbered here,” Caden laughs. “Fine.” He gestures at the sales associate and whips out his credit card, gesturing at the vast pile on the countertop. “Ring all this up. She’ll take it all.”
I gape at him. “What? No!” I sputter before I know what I’m saying. “You can’t pay for it all!”
