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The multi-colored swirl of the Ferris wheel catches my side view as Lily tugs on my hand, urging me toward the strawberry-themed ride.
“Will you come on this one with me, Papa Pike?” she begs. “It’s not too scary.”
I look helplessly for Aspen, caught up in the cotton candy line, barely able to handle the noise and crowd of the Cypress Gardens fair. I stare at her, hoping she’ll look my way and sense my deep discomfort at being in the middle of all the bustle, but she’s lost in a conversation with a chatty older woman and can’t seem to free herself.
“Why don’t you ask Aspen to go on that one with you, honeybee?” I sigh, already knowing what her response is going to be.
“I want to go on with you!” she pouts, folding her arms over her chest. “You never want to go on any of the rides!”
Where the hell is Caden when you need him? I think miserably.
“I’ve got cotton candy!” Aspen spares me from answering, having gotten out of the conversation with the older woman.
Lily forgets about the rides for a moment and eagerly reaches for the treat, but I remind her to mind her manners.
“What do you say to Aspen, who just lined up for twenty minutes and got cornered for another five?” I say warningly.
“Thank you, Aspen!”
Aspen smiles her beautiful smile and joins us on the picnic table. “You’re very welcome, Lily.”
“Will you go on the strawberry ride with me?” she asks, stuffing the fluffy, pink sugar into her rosebud mouth. “Papa Pike doesn’t wanna.”
“I think you can go on that one all by yourself,” she replies. “You’re tall enough.”
Lily’s face brightens like the sun. “Really?!” she gasps. “All by myself?”
I hesitate at the idea, but Aspen is already standing, extending her hand for Lily to take. “Come here,” she says, gesturing at the height restrictions on the gate surrounding the ride. “You see this? You’re taller than the stork’s wing, right? That means you don’t need anyone to go on with you. Would you like to go on by yourself?”
“Uh… maybe she’s a little young?” I pipe in tentatively, but Aspen shakes her head.
“There’s nothing wrong with giving her a little independence,” she says. “We’re both right here.” She winks at Lily, who is suddenly elated by the idea of riding the spinning strawberry on her own. “Finish your cotton candy, and I’ll walk you to the line.” Aspen looks at me. “Papa Pike can take a minute to regroup while we’re gone.”
She grins at me, and I could kiss her right here. She can tell how much I hate this.
And I wouldn’t have come if Lily had not asked me specifically, although why she singled me out this humid evening, I’ll never understand. But I can never refuse when the child asks. Even Caden laughed with relief when we headed out to the garage, Lily bouncing with excitement to go on the rides and play at the midway.
“Enjoy the screaming kids, Pike,” he snorted as we headed out in Aspen’s BMW.
“You know I’m going, too, right?” Aspen told him dryly.
He winked suggestively at her. “Occupational hazard for you. Sheer torture for him. I’ll put the wine on chill for you when you get back.”
Suddenly, all I can think about is drinking that wine.
“You have got to be kidding!”
My shoulders stiffen, my head swiveling as the long lost but familiar voice permeates my ears.
Oh, no. Not tonight. Not with Lily and Aspen here.
I look up as Amanda glowers down at me, her pinched face almost opaque. And she’s not alone.
“You’re here now?” she sputters. “I would have thought that after all this time, you would have had the decency to leave!”
Her husband reaches a wrinkled hand to turn her away, but Amanda hasn’t finished. I stare blankly at her. “What? Nothing to say still, Pike? It’s been almost five years since you murdered our daughter, and you still have nothing to say!”
Her voice carries over the obnoxious carnival music, and I finally stand, a weariness settling inside me.
