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“Just stay where we can see you and you can see us,” Aspen adds. The child sprints off and leaves us back to our conversation. “What happened to Maddy?” Aspen wants to know, leaning closer, the compassion on her face relaxing me.
“Maddy… had some issues, undiagnosed, but there were clear signs of some type of disorder. She would be so full of life, so charismatic… and then she would hate everyone and everything, lying in bed for weeks at a time. I begged her to seek professional help, but that would only make her turn on me. She would scream at me that I didn’t love her anymore, that I was evil—she called me names I wouldn’t call a rat in our pantry.”
I stop, swallowing. Reliving this isn’t something I wanted to do with Aspen or anyone else, but she’s right. This will never work if she doesn’t know the truth. The whole truth.
“One day, she just…” I pause again, remembering the call from the Peachtree City Police. “One day, she made good on her threats to me. I found her in our garage, and it was too late to do anything. Her parents blamed me, insisting I drove her to do it, that she was always happy, and I suppose they only ever really saw her when she was manic. But they must have seen signs when she was younger. I couldn’t have been the only one who saw it.”
Aspen’s hand closes over mine as if to absorb my internal anguish. “They’re grieving, Pike. They lost a child and need someone to blame for it.”
Logically, I understand that, but emotionally, I wish it weren’t me.
“I’m not saying that they’re handling their grief properly, but you are being the bigger man here, Pike,” she goes on. My chest tightens with her reassurance. “Can you imagine someone confronting Caden like this?”
I snicker, albeit humorlessly. “No. He wouldn’t handle it well.”
“You’re a good man, Pike Hartley. With all your talent, compassion—and sexiness, too!”
“I suppose you would know something about being sexy,” I tell her, my eyes boring into her mysterious, chocolate irises. Suddenly, the kids screaming and the music from the rides around us dissipate. It’s only me and Aspen at that moment.
“Thank you for telling me about Maddy.”
“Thanks for listening. I don’t think I’ve mentioned her name in years, but I needed to get it out…”
I’m surprised by my openness, but that’s what Aspen does to me. She inspires me and loosens me up.
Again, her head rises, and I turn as Lily throws herself excitedly into my lap. “I’m hungry,” she announces. “Can we get?—”
“Pizza?” I guess.
“No. A hot dog,” Lily corrects me.
“Look at that,” Aspen jokes, standing to hit the food vendor again. “You give the girl a little independence, and suddenly, she’s changing her tastes everywhere.”
“I’ll get it,” I say, picking up Lily under one arm as she squeaks with delight. The child clings to me, but Aspen also stands to join us.
“Let’s all go,” Aspen suggests, joining my side. Lily dangles off my left arm, but Aspen slips her hand into my right, casting me an adoring look as I peer back down at her.
I think I’m in love with my muse.
CHAPTER 18
Aspen
I try to focus all my attention on Lily and not pay attention to the mounting stress building in the house.
Flint is true to his word and remains home after the scare with Raya and Matthew, but it’s clear that he’s under a lot of pressure. He spends all day in his office, the door firmly closed as he takes calls and does whatever he does. When he emerges, his face is drawn and grim, even though he tries his best to force smiles for both Lily and me.
I’ve pulled him aside when I can to offer my help, but he’s firmly told me he’s got everything under control. I don’t believe him in the least.
Since the encounter at the fair, Pike has become even more withdrawn, barely joining Lily and me for breakfast anymore. The girl asks for him every morning, but neither Zoe nor I have any answer to give her except, “Papa Pike is working.”
I hate the blanket of pressure suffocating the house, and I do my best to bring the men together, but every attempt has failed, even when I enlist Caden’s help.
“They’re both withdrawing,” I complain to him one afternoon as we walk through the ravine. Lily saw a rabbit earlier and is off chasing its cottontail down the path as we walk a few feet behind. “I don’t know what to do.”
Caden shrugs. “You leave them alone until they’re ready to come out,” he replies nonchalantly. “Flint’s consumed with work, and Pike’s… Pike.”
I eye him, wanting more details, but it’s not my place to ask. I also have the sudden urge to tell him my money issues, my tanked credit score, and my history with Sean. But I’ve already committed to telling them all together, after this fiasco with Raya goes away.
