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part one
hope
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
chapter
one
The man was everywhere.
There was no escaping him.
When Ellie Summers signed up for a yoga class at the local gym, he was there, lifting weights, his biceps straining against his t-shirt, sweat plastering his dark blond hair to his forehead. Every time she looked over at him, he was glancing her way. She tried to ignore it, focus on her breathing, but it was difficult with the constant feeling of his eyes on her.
When she offered to babysit a friend’s seven-year-old daughter, there he was at the park, pushing his eight-year-old niece on the swing. He was so cute with both of the girls, laughing and joking, making them giggle with his funny faces and tickle attacks. Ellie’s heart ached to watch him. There was something terribly endearing about a grown man who wasn’t afraid to be silly with children. It stirred something inside her, a gut wrenching feeling of longing that she instantly quashed down.
When she went to the flower shop to get a bouquet to liven up her small, dated rental house, he was there buying flowers for his mom.
The man bought flowers for his mom every week.
He made it so hard to hate him.
But she did.
She hated Callum Holden.
Hated everything he stood for.
And no amount of muscle-flexing, flower-buying, child-doting charm could change that fact.
When Ellie went to the bookstore to escape into the worlds of romance novels, she found him there, perusing through detective thrillers. He even had the audacity to suggest she’d like a particular mystery series. She thanked him curtly and walked away without another word, leaving Cal standing there with a kicked-puppy expression on his handsome face.
She would not feel bad for hurting his feelings.
When she took a cooking class in the next town over to expand her culinary skills, Cal was there, too, with his younger brother, fumbling with a whisk and creating a mess of flour and egg. He apologized for his clumsiness with an easy smile, and she gritted her teeth, hating his casual charm.
She would not be charmed by him again.
He was an aggravating constant in her life, an open wound that wouldn’t heal. Steam Valley, California was a small town, but come on. He had to be following her. There was no way they just kept accidentally bumping into each other.
“Maybe I should get a restraining order,” she’d mused out loud after running into him yet again at the coffee shop.
Alexis just rolled her eyes and blew across the top of her steaming coffee. “I think you two should just kiss and make up already. It’s been over a year.”
Ellie scowled at her sister. “How can you suggest that after what he did?”
“Because if anyone holds it against him, it should be me. But I don’t. He was just doing his job, Elle, and he’s a good guy. I like him. More than that, I like him for you. Maybe you should give him another chance.”
“No.” Ellie’s response was crisp, her tone final. “He chose his path, and I chose mine. They don’t cross. Not anymore.”
“They seem to be crossing a lot.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours. Always yours.” Alexis held up both hands in surrender and her engagement ring sparked in the light. “But you need to at least make peace with Cal. This town is not like Chicago. You can’t expect to never see him again, especially since you two have the same circle of friends. Avoiding him just isn’t feasible.”
