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“Now,” Serenity said softly. “Envision an energy field, wrapping your bodies in radiant warmth. The universe’s love for you has no bounds.”
Ellie couldn’t help but snort at that one, earning a gentle reprimand from Serenity.
“Acceptance is key here, Ellie.”
She clenched her teeth. Acceptance. The word echoed in her mind like the stupid gong. She’d accepted a lot of things in her life, but this? This was pushing her limits. Sitting across from Cal, pretending to be married when every fiber of her being wanted to keep him at arm’s length, pretending she was interested in all of this esoteric mumbo-jumbo when all she wanted was answers—it was maddening.
“Once you let down your walls and take things wholeheartedly, you’ll find peace. Are you ready to take that step with Cal?”
Was she?
No.
She could play a part, sure, but accepting Cal back into her life? That wasn’t going to happen.
“Ellie?” Serenity prodded gently. “Let down your walls. You’ll see the world much more clearly.”
Ellie held back another snort. She could already see the world clearly, thank you very much. She didn’t need some cult member to tell her what she was missing. Still, she closed her eyes again and tried to play along.
“Okay. I’m ready now.”
“Good,” Serenity said, and a gong rang through the room. Ellie cracked open an eye and caught Cal’s smothered laugh, which he hid behind a cough.
“I know you think I’m crazy,” Serenity said without malice as she set the gong’s mallet back on the floor. “Believe me. When my husband and I first came here, I thought the same thing. But give it a chance. Keep an open mind, and you might be surprised. This saved our marriage, and it can save your relationship. Can you promise me that you’ll keep an open mind?”
Ellie glanced at Cal, who was watching her with an unreadable expression. The intensity of his eyes left her feeling exposed and bare. She swallowed hard and turned back to Serenity.
“I promise.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. She was keeping an open mind, just not about Serenity’s advice.
“That’s all I ask,” Serenity said with a gracious smile. “Now close your eyes and imagine a thread of connection between you and Cal,” Serenity continued. “Does it glow bright with love, or is it dimmed by hurt and misunderstanding?”
A thread? Ha. More like a steel cable. Their connection had always been unnaturally strong, even when they loathed each other—or, she supposed, it was more accurate to say when she loathed him. He’d never hated her, but oh, how she’d hated him at one time.
Did she still?
No, even as much as she wanted to.
Her cheeks warmed at the thought, and she was grateful for the cover of her closed eyes.
“I don’t know about Ellie, but mine’s glowing like a Christmas tree.” Cal’s sincerity was disarming. The note of raw honesty in them rattled her.
“Funny, I was going to say mine’s glowing like a dumpster fire.”
Cal laughed. Even with her eyes closed, could picture that damned irresistible grin of his clearly. That grin and his sense of humor were some of the things that had initially attracted her to him.
“Conflict isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” Serenity said before Cal could reply. “It can help illuminate the areas where we need growth and compromise.”
Compromise? With Cal? It seemed as likely as the sun rising in the west. Still, she held her peace—no point in arguing with Serenity’s boundless optimism.
“Just... let me know when we get to the part where we rid ourselves of all conflict and live happily ever after,” Ellie grumbled, shifting on her cushion.
Cal let out another soft chuckle. “You always did like skipping to the end. No patience for the journey, but that’s the fun part.”
She scowled. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know the ending first. If I had known our ending, I never would’ve?—”
“Ellie?” Cal’s voice was filled with quiet regret, which left an ache throbbing in her chest. “If you knew we’d end up like this, would you have wished for us to never happen?”
Her eyes fluttered open. He looked genuinely hurt and she wished she could call back her words. She didn’t want a relationship with him, but that didn’t mean she wanted to hurt him.
