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She looked down, and she could see him. Hard and so much bigger than she had anticipated. His skin was flushed with desire, and it made her feel powerful.
She had spent years at college ignoring this kind of thing. Ignoring men.
Or maybe she had been ignoring boys, and that was why it had been so easy.
Young and reedy and not this.
He was intense.
And it matched her own intensity.
She’d said, flat out, that he was a hardheaded pig. And that she was, too. And maybe that was how it worked. Hardheadedness saw hardheadedness, and it couldn’t help but want to test itself against it.
In every way that she possibly could.
All she knew was that this was compelling, he was compelling, in a way that she couldn’t turn away from. In a way she didn’t want to turn away from.
He made her feel things, made her want things, that she couldn’t deny. She had never considered herself a person with a lot of self-control. In fact, she had always known that she was impulsive, hotheaded and led by her baser instincts.
That considered, it was somewhat surprising that she had never had sex before.
Except it made sense. Now.
Because this was the first time her blood had ever been heated like this.
This was the first time she had ever wanted, ever needed. And she was jumping in headfirst, because what else was there to do?
She knew the giddy power in surrendering to lost temper.
In letting anger flow through you, control you, dominate you.
But she had never experienced this.
And one thing she knew about giving in to temper was that there was shame waiting on the other side. And maybe there would be shame on the other side of this, too, but for all the times that she had made that bargain with anger and accepted the consequences, she would do the same here, because at least this felt glorious.
And she felt new.
She had been defined, utterly, these last few years by her drive. By her ability to shut out exhaustion when she needed sleep, but there was work to be done. Anger when she wanted to yell, but she had to let cooler heads prevail so that she could negotiate something. To just give in to what she wanted... It was a glorious, headlong trip into the kind of excitement she’d never experienced before, and she wanted it.
She wanted it badly.
To open this door to another part of herself that she had closed down for so long.
And of course it would be him.
Because he was the only person she’d ever met who was as stubborn as she was. The only person she’d ever met who felt about ranching the way that she did.
A man who was holding everything together for the greater good, and she really understood that.
Down to her soul.
He unhooked her bra and sent it sailing the same direction as her dress. And then he kissed her neck, down her collarbone, and excitement built low between her legs, an ache building and building that made her wiggle her hips restlessly, made her cry out in agony. She felt him smile against her skin as he made his way down to her breast and sucked her nipple into his mouth.
All she could do was stare. Watch as his mouth fastened itself over that intimate part of her; it was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen. And more erotic than anything she’d ever imagined, that was for sure.
She didn’t know herself in this moment. She just wanted to surrender. And that really, really wasn’t her, and there was something wondrous about it.
To be lost to this. To be sexual. To be overwhelmed.
