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What the hell is wrong with you?
He took a step back, letting go of her.
“I think that’s it for the day. You need to go home and get dried off.”
“Yes,” she said. “I do.”
“Get.”
And there was a warning in that word, and she, for the first time in his acquaintance with her, heeded it.
She didn’t get in his truck; instead, she turned and took off back toward the house on her own two feet.
And he decided that he would get the horses finished, and when he came back, she’d better be gone.
She was, thank God.
He growled into the house, and Camilla was sitting there at the kitchen bar, eating a bowl of ice cream. “Well. What happened to you?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said.
“You just always roam around shirtless like you’re some kind of hot cowboy calendar just waiting to break out into a photo shoot?”
He glared at his sister. “I got warm.”
“You weren’t by chance cavorting with the pretty redhead that’s supposed to be helping you with your paperwork?”
“I was not,” he said. “It isn’t like that.”
“But you’re kind of mad about it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Camilla, and you know what? If you would like me to have some time to cavort with women, maybe get your ass back to school.”
She rolled her eyes. “Levi, I don’t need you to pretend that you’re a monk for my benefit. I know that you’re not.”
“Maybe let’s not talk about this. Ever.”
“I don’t really want to talk about the details of it, but you have to stop.” She pushed her bowl of ice cream back dramatically. “You have to stop sacrificing everything just because I exist. You have to stop putting your life on pause every time I show up, because it makes me feel like you don’t want me here.”
“It isn’t that,” he said. “I love you—you know that. Camilla... You...you could literally be my daughter, and I raised you as such. There is not a person in this world...” His chest went all tight. “Nobody else is quite like you. Okay? But I don’t want you to be stuck here. I don’t want you to choose this life, just because you’re worried about me. That I couldn’t take.”
“You’re going to accept her help, right?”
“Yeah,” he said, making his way toward the fridge.
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“It isn’t up to you to believe me or not. You’re not the parent.”
“You aren’t, either,” she said softly. “Not really. You’re my brother. I love you. I don’t even remember what it’s like to have parents, Levi. So yeah, you are kind of it for me. But it isn’t really fair, is it? Because you are my brother. And you were sixteen when I was born. You’re not really old enough to be my dad. You weren’t really old enough to take all this on. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“I don’t want to be a burden,” he said. “Don’t you get that? That’s the thing that I can’t stand, Camilla. You can’t treat me like I’m a burden just because I don’t do things the way that you would.”
“I’m just worried that you need help.”
He looked at his sister, and he just felt...defeated. Like he might have to give in to Quinn. And he couldn’t even quite remember why that was such a bad thing now.
The graves. The road.
