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Luke’s heart sank as he heard the principal’s words. Memories of his late wife, Kate, flooded his mind as he listened to Mr. White list out the details of Jeremiah’s past behavior, including truancy and three prior fights, all of which had begun around the time of Kate’s passing after her battle with cancer nine months ago.
After a pause, Mr. White continued, “I spoke with the young man and a few other witnesses, and it seems that Jeremiah was the one who instigated it. He’s been sent home and will be suspended for the rest of the week. We know things have been difficult for you both, but the discipline policy states that Jeremiah could be expelled, since this isn’t the first incident, as well you know. There’ll be a hearing with the board in a few days to make that decision. We’ll call you with the details.”
Once the principal finished, Luke thanked him and ended the call, exhaling deeply as he slumped back into his chair. His meetings for the afternoon would have to be canceled; he needed to pick up Jeremiah from school.
As Luke gathered his items to leave, he found himself lost in his thoughts, grappling with a difficult truth. For years, he had tried to justify his absence from Jeremiah’s life. As a financial consultant at one of the top firms in Chicago, work had always kept him away from home, traveling often to meet clients across the country. Kate learned to live with it, but Jeremiah never did. It was only after Kate fell ill that the underlying resentment Jeremiah had harbored toward him came to the surface.
Following her diagnosis, Luke had made a conscious effort to be more present. He cut back on business trips and accompanied her to every doctor’s appointment and chemo treatment. Even with the care of the best doctors in the country, the cancer had progressed to stage IV, and they were faced with the harsh reality that Kate had, at most, a year to live.
When Luke took time off from work to care for her, Jeremiah’s frustration with him only grew. They would have frequent shouting matches, with Jeremiah blaming him for not being there during his childhood, which Luke couldn’t deny. It was true Luke had missed many important events, like soccer games and piano recitals, due to work obligations.
As the days passed after Kate’s death, Luke found himself struggling to bridge the growing divide between him and Jeremiah. Despite seeking solace in the guidance of a grief counselor together, Jeremiah’s animosity towards his father continued to escalate. Kate always had a way with Jeremiah, and now that she was gone, he felt it would be impossible to connect with his sixteen-year-old son.
Luke could see it now, clear as day. His absence had left a void in Jeremiah’s life, and it had only become more pronounced during their difficult times. Luke’s heart ached with guilt as he realized he had failed his son in a profound way.
He reached across his desk and picked up the phone. “Jeannie, can you cancel all of my afternoon appointments? I need to go pick my son up from school,” his voice laced with urgency.
For years she’d been a godsend to Luke, always two steps ahead, executing tasks with surgical precision and had the foresight of a pro chess player. He marveled at her ability to handle anything at a moment’s notice without breaking a sweat. Luke could never quite figure out how she managed to do it all.
“Of course, sir,” Jeannie replied, her tone cool and collected.
“You know I don’t go by ‘sir.’ And if any important calls come in, can you please have them forwarded to my cell? Thanks, Jeannie.” Luke hung up the phone, grabbed his coat, and headed out the door, wondering what he was going to do with Jeremiah now that he was out of school for the rest of the week. Luke knew he’d have his work cut out for him.
When he pulled up to the school, he couldn’t help but notice the gray clouds hanging low in the sky, threatening to unleash a downpour. Luke attempted to calm his nerves as he waited for Jeremiah to come out of the school, reminding himself not to lash out against him. When his son finally emerged, Luke could see the anger and defiance etched on his face.
The car ride home was tense and uncomfortable as they navigated through the midday bumper-to -bumper Chicago traffic. The honking of horns and the screech of brakes filled the air. The wind was picking up, and the trees were bending under its force. As they drove, Luke couldn’t help but feel like the weather was a reflection of the storm brewing inside him. He knew he couldn’t keep ignoring Jeremiah’s behavior, but he also didn’t want to make things worse by punishing him. They rode in silence, the only sounds coming from the occasional tapping of raindrops on the car roof and the hum of the engine.
That evening, Luke turned off his phone and cooked dinner. Jeremiah, who had been holed up in his bedroom, surprised him by joining him at the kitchen table. As they ate, the silence between them was deafening, and Luke felt the weight of his failures as a father.
“Do you want to talk about what happened today?” Luke asked, trying to break the ice.
Jeremiah shrugged. “Not really.”
“Well, we’ve got to change something, Jeremiah. You can’t keep getting into fights like this. The principal is talking about expelling you.”
Jeremiah slouched in his chair. “So what? I’ll go to another school. Or maybe I just won’t go anywhere anymore. It doesn’t matter to me.”
Luke set down his fork, his appetite suddenly gone as he felt a wave of deep sadness wash over him. The weight of remorse settled heavily upon his chest as he looked into his son’s eyes, seeing the hurt and disappointment reflected back at him. He hated himself for not knowing how to connect with his own child, for not being there when Jeremiah needed him the most. He paused, and took a deep breath as he searched for the right words.
“Jeremiah, I’ve failed you in every way possible,” Luke began, his voice heavy with regret. “I know I’ve missed so many important moments in your life, and I’m truly sorry for not being there for you like I should have been. I’ve let you down, son, and I can’t change that. But I want you to know that I love you more than anything, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it right.”
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter now.” Jeremiah said, picking apart a piece of bread on his plate.
Luke reached out to touch Jeremiah’s arm. “It does matter, son. I know I’ll never be able to change the past, but I’ll do whatever it takes to be the father you deserve. I know it will take time and won’t happen overnight—”
“I told you, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just leave it alone!” Jeremiah shot up from his chair and brought his plate to the sink.
Luke nodded. “I understand. But please know that I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk. I love you, Jeremiah, and I’m truly sorry.”
Jeremiah kept his back turned, avoiding eye contact as he walked away. “Yeah, whatever.”
As Jeremiah left the table and went back to his room, Luke sat there for a moment longer, looking at the empty chair across from him. The sound of his own fork clinking against the plate seemed to echo in the empty room. After a few moments, he finally stood up and walked over to the kitchen sink.
While rinsing the dishes, his mind was consumed with the conversation he just had with his son.
Luke’s attempts to fix the relationship had fallen short, leaving him feeling disheartened and unsure of how to bridge the growing gap between him and his son. All the suggestions online and even the advice from the grief counselor wasn’t working. It seemed that no matter what he did, Jeremiah had remained distant and unresponsive, shutting Luke out and refusing to communicate or engage in meaningful ways.
After finishing the dishes, he went into his office to do more research on how to connect with his son. As Luke sat at his desk, feeling a sense of helplessness overcome him, he couldn’t find any new advice he hadn’t tried to implement before. His thoughts then drifted to a topic that had often been a source of joy for Kate—living on the Georgia coast. Maybe a change of scenery from the big city is what they needed. It was something he hadn’t considered before, but the idea of a fresh start in Georgia, all at once, tugged at his heart and filled him with sorrow, knowing that Kate would never get to experience it. Despite the bittersweet emotions, Luke opened up his laptop and started searching for beachfront properties in coastal Georgia on Zillow.
