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“I’m exhausted.” That is not a lie. “Between last tests, finals, getting ready for graduation, deciding between colleges,” losing my best friend and soulmate, I keep that to myself even though she knows, “I don’t feel like dressing up.”
“Do you want to talk about it, baby girl?'' She walks over to me and holds her arms open. Only because I need it right now, I hug her very awkwardly, keeping the lower half of me from her body, but I wrap my arms around her all the same.
“No, Mom. I appreciate it, but I am okay.”
“I understand. We should go shopping for your prom dress.” And there it is. I pull back from her, pissed off that once again, I let myself get snowed. I know she means well; if circumstances were different, I would be all gung-ho. But now, it just pisses me off to think about it.
“Mom, I told you I am not going.”
“I know you said it, but I figured it was just a knee-jerk reaction to breaking up Hunter. You have to go to prom.” She looks on the verge of tears, and hell, so am I. “This is your final year. This is my chance to shop with you, pick out your dress, take pictures.” Then, all of a sudden, she stops talking and looks at me like she figured out something. “I know. I am going to match you.” She begins clapping her hands, completely oblivious to the fact that I am mortified. “It’s the perfect idea,” she says. Did I mention my mother is a famous matchmaker? She is the top in the U.S. Celebrities come to her to find love or even just compatible dates. The most impressive thing is that she does it all through a short questionnaire and a conversation with the candidates. It is quite amazing, actually, except now when she is trying to do it to me.
“It most certainly is not. Under no circumstances are you to do that. I will not be doing this.” I stomp out of the house, huffing and cursing out loud. All I hear as I am driving off is the sound of my mother calling my name. Without looking back, I pull to the end of the block and cry my eyes out. Seems that is all I am doing nowadays. Everything makes me sad and emotional. Wiping my eyes, I try to gather myself and continue driving to school. When I pull into the parking lot, I spot Hunter getting out of his truck, and my body begins to tingle. I remember all the things we used to do in that truck. The way he would pull me on top of him, slide into me, and watch me ride him into oblivion. Or how after a game when he was sweaty and full of unspent energy, he would drive me to the lake and make me lean over the tailgate while he took the rest of his energy out on my pussy, rutting into me from behind. God, I miss his hands all over me.
He stops momentarily, noticing me staring at him, and even from far away, I can see the same thoughts running through his head. I miss him so fucking much; I feel like I am dying. Will this pain ever go away?
chapter two
Hunter
I’m just phoning my classes in at this point. I’m supposed to be playing basketball, but instead I’m bullshitting with my best friend, Ryder Stone.
“I heard Jenna Helwani wants you to ask her out.” You have got to be fucking kidding me. Do I need to take an ad in the newspaper or put a post up on social media? There will never be another girl for me but Gwen. Ever. She’s the only girl I’ll ever kiss, ever fuck, ever love. What’s so fucking hard about that?
“Fuck, let’s not do this,” I tell him, annoyed.
“Why not? You need to move on. You can’t pine away for Gwen forever.”
“I know you’re not telling me that, Ryder.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, aggressively tossing the basketball at me. I catch it and toss it back to him just as aggressively. The man is delusional.
“Bullshit. What about Heather.” The man has been in love with my younger sister for as long as I can remember, yet he won’t say anything to her. He also won’t date anyone else. “You won’t even tell her how you feel.”
“I can’t, man. She’s way too young.” I roll my eyes. She’s seventeen. We are eighteen.
“She’ll be eighteen next year. You could date her.”
“That feels so wrong.”
I hear a whistle. “You two could at least pretend to do what I asked,” Coach Warton shouts, and we get back to basketball.
After school, I do on-the-job training with my dad at his construction company, and I love it. I’ve been making and banking good money since the summer after seventh grade. While I can and do help out in the office, I love working with my hands, too. There is nothing more satisfying than starting with an empty lot and building a home from nothing. I also enjoy restoring homes to their former glory. I love it all. I’ve learned a lot from my dad and want to continue to work with him after graduation. He made me promise I’d go to college, but if I’m being honest, I’d rather work. I’m hanging drywall today. The work is hard and exactly what I need. I’m sweaty and covered in dust by the time I'm done. My muscles ache, but I know my day isn’t done. Not until I see her. Not until I know she’s safe. As I get into my truck, my phone rings, and it’s Gwen’s mom.
“Hello, Gladis.” She’s always insisted that I call her Gladis. I resisted at first, but Gladis is a force of nature, just like Gwen. There’s no resisting her.
“Hi, Hunter. I was hoping we could talk. Do you have a moment?”
“Yes. I have time.”
“Excellent. I was wondering if you could tell me what happened between you and Gwen.”
“I was actually hoping you could tell me,” I answer, confused. I thought for sure she’d tell her mom what happened.
“No, she’s been very tight lipped about your breakup. She’s sullen and withdrawn.”
“I’ve noticed.” Of course, I’ve noticed. I notice everything about her.
“Well, we’ve got to figure this out, Hunter.”
