AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Right.
Sex club.
He's not into you. He wants to screw you.
Any other night I'd be able to put aside that voice that wondered why I wasn't enough. I'd be secure in my accomplishments, comfortable in my skin. But this weekend was filled with all the ghosts from my past. Memories of how I'd look at my sister, with her lean legs and arms like mine, but with hips and boobs that I was lacking. How all the features that made people whisper how beautiful my mother and father and sister were ended up being exaggerated on me. All my faults were broadcasted—too skinny, nose almost perfect, lips a shy too big, eyes just a smudge too large. Almost beautiful.
Cute enough to land a couple of dead end boyfriends. Cute enough to screw. Finding someone that wanted more? Not so much.
But this stranger didn't know that I was pretending to be someone that I wasn't. Someone that was confident. Who could take or leave him as a lover. He didn't know that I was the silly girl that was sitting at an alcohol-less bar in a sex club, hoping that the sexiest guy in the place—hell, the sexiest guy I'd ever seen period—would want to wine and dine me before we got to the part where we ripped off each other's clothes.
I felt his gaze devouring me slowly, but I pretended I didn't. I pretended we had all the time in the world, lazily twirling my straw around my glass. His plans for me hung in the air unanswered, and it took everything in me to not clap my hands together with glee before I leapt into his arms and let him take me somewhere. Anywhere really. Right on the bar. On the stage. Or downstairs...
I surrendered and glanced in his direction. Not a good idea. Those eyes were dangerous. They were the kind of green you could get lost in and do all sorts of things you'd regret in the morning. “Let me get this straight. You want me to let you fuck me? Just like that?”
A smile teased its way across his handsome face. “Well, not just like that.” He reached for me and my body weakly, traitorously, leaned toward toward him—but he just fondled one of my tresses, lifting the honey brown strand like it was something delicate.
And after he's done with you, he'll crush your heart beneath his feet.
He broke contact, his gaze flickering over my face and settling on my mouth. “From the moment our eyes met in the hall this began.”
“This?” I said softly, giving in for the briefest moment. Letting my guard down.
“That's right.” His voice filled the air around me, thick and rich. It just heightened my dreamlike state, especially when his touch returned to me, this time his fingertips stroking my jaw. “And then, I made the first move.” In case I wasn't there and didn't remember how he turned a greeting into foreplay, he recounted the moment. “I said hello.”
I barely had any clothes on, but I felt my temperature rising. The heat that radiated from him beat down on me and even though my sense of self preservation told me to scoot off the stool and run for my life, I basked in the warmth. I played with fire. “If I'm remembering correctly, I said ‘Hi yourself’ and walked away.”
“Accuracy is essential.” Before I could comment that he couldn't be drop dead gorgeous and using big words in my fragile state of mind, he pushed me to the edge, leaning in, cheek to cheek. I counted every second. One—he smelled like heaven. A masculine mixture of citrus and the woods just after it rained. Two—how was it possible that just the mere act of him breathing was sexy? That every breath that rippled from his body through mine made me ache? Three—I would compare every other kiss to his, and I knew I'd come up wanting every time.
He blazed a trail to my ear. Four-
“Hi yourself,” he breathed lustily into my ear.
He pulled back and I nearly jumped his bones right there before I caught myself. I ripped my eyes from him, waving for another soda, clearing my throat to cover the fact that I was having trouble breathing because at the moment, I was wondering why I was fighting so hard to stop what felt so right.
The bartender slid over and refilled my cup with Sprite, giving me a look that said what my vagina had been saying for the past thirty minutes. Just sleep with him already! She turned her triple D's in his direction, adding her own P.S. Or I will.
I peeked over at him, totally expecting him to be sizing her up. In her leather bustier, it was hard not to stare. But he was just watching me. Studying me. Like he was breaking down the equation, step by step, and any moment he'd get the solution.
When he swept a hand through his dark locks, I bit my lip when I saw the way his forearms moved in the dark, muscular and strong. I wanted him to lift me, throw me over his shoulder and take me to one of those rooms, whether I wanted to or not. Every part of me wanted him, even my head that stubbornly put its foot down. “You can't look at me like that.”
“Like what?” He said with an innocence that was guilty as sin.
“Like it's just a matter of time until you have me.”
I didn't realize that I was clutching my glass until he plucked it from my hands and put it back on the bar. My retort got lost somewhere and I barely had time to sputter, to be offended, before he gave me a look so sure, so confident, so stunning that I just listened.
“Let's be clear. I'm a gentleman. I don't take what I want. And I don't chase women-”
“Then why are you here?” I bit off. It was too easy to glare him down, conjure up broken promises and the hollowness when someone I cared about told me I was great but he didn't like me 'like that'. This guy hadn't done anything more than show interest in me and my side eye was locked and loaded. This time, when I heard moans, felt the room fill with another single woman with a guy in hot pursuit, I wasn't invigorated. It was sobering.
Was he hot? Absolutely. Was I just going to drop my panties because he wanted me? I wanted my answer to be a single word. To be so sure that this time when I walked away I wasn't secretly hoping he'd follow.
I felt the contradiction brewing inside me and instead of just storming off, I gave it to him straight. “This may sound strange considering we're in a sex club, but I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm disposable. Sure, we can go downstairs and lose ourselves for half an hour.” He cocked an eyebrow and my core throbbed with want. With a single eyebrow, he gave me a look at all the ways he would turn me out. Make me moan. Make me beg...and half an hour wouldn't cut it. “Jesus Christ.”
I reluctantly stole away—finding my reflection in the mirror that stretched behind the bar. I refused to retreat to him, his silhouette alone tripping me up. I didn't see the bartender, using her weapons on a more than willing guy who was practically climbing over the glass top to get to her. The disco ball that glittered above the stage no longer hypnotized me. The music was barely a hum compared to the thunder of my heart. The multicolored couches that held the memories of the countless beautiful, horny people that had cycled in and out of this place was just a jarring reminder of how I didn't belong here.
“I'm going to be more honest with you than I should be. I figure, you're going to realize that I'm not worth the headache and stalk off to find someone that is, but at least I can say that for once, I was real with someone other than my therapist.” I stabbed at my drink, the ice clinking angrily. “I was on my way out the door when I saw you. Running away, because that's what I've done since...well, always.” I really, really wanted something alcoholic, but I settled for a chunk of ice, crunching on it and swallowing the shards to fight the heat of ‘Omgomg you're about to tell your sad life story to some hot guy who just wants to give you a night worth remembering—just shut up and screw him!’
