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She was right. In the beginning, I wanted to bridge the distance between Alicia and Jacob. Despite my reservations, I thought that having her in his life was what Jacob needed.
And then I got to know her...and I realized the healthiest thing for Jacob and everyone involved was distance. The optimist in me wanted to believe that she genuinely wanted to start over and be the mom Jacob deserved from the start, but I couldn’t quiet the reality of what she’d done. The blank check. The hurtful comments about me. About Jacob. All but telling Jacob damn his feelings and needs--he’d have to pry the ring from her cold, dead fingers.
“I thought I did,” I said honestly. “Thinking back, I was so naive. I saw that letter and she seemed so nice. I figured it was all Rachel, but I had no idea she was--” I stopped, not finishing.
“Bat shit insane?” Megan offered. “You know, maybe that’s why she and Rachel got all buddy-buddy. They both have a screw or ten loose.”
I slumped backward with a sigh. I never thought I’d say I’d rather talk about Rachel Laraby than the topic at hand. Her name would come up dead last, hands down. But Jacob’s mom gave her some competition.
I sat back up hesitantly, meeting Meg’s patient gaze.
“She’s been calling, texting, emailing, hell, I bet she’d even send smoke signals if she could. I mean, you know how hardcore my mom can get if she doesn’t hear from me every few days.”
“Oh yes,” Megan answered with an understandable shudder.
During my second year in college we had a falling out and I stopped answering my phone. Most parents would take that as a pretty good indicator that space was needed. Not my mother--she came out to campus, demanding to know my schedule and gain access to my dorm. According to the staff member who had the misfortune of dealing with her, she’d even demanded I be brought from class to the administrative building like a child being called to the principals office. They sent her away because my school recognized a fact that seemed to fly over Mom’s head--that I was an adult--and I’m sure they didn’t want to get involved in a private matter. If that whole thing wasn’t embarrassing enough, one of the student’s working in the office put my mom’s craziness on her Facebook wall.
Eventually, Mom and I made up, but I’d never forgotten the embarrassment and shame that she’d actually come to my school and made a scene.
“So take my mom’s brand of...persistence,” I said after an unpleasant trip down Memory Lane. “And multiply that by ten.”
Megan’s green eyes rounded. “Holy crap.”
“Yep,” I said with a bitter laugh. “Jacob said she was absent most of his life and instead of moderation, she jumped to the other side of the spectrum. It got so bad that I actually considered changing my phone number.”
“Yikes,” she said sympathetically. “So she’s been apologizing like crazy, huh?”
“Nope.” Which was ironic, because she had a LOT to be sorry for. But other than the apology she’d given in the coffee shop, she hadn’t uttered another ‘I’m sorry’. “She seems more intent on making sure Jacob and I have the wedding of her dreams.”
“Um...” She held onto the ‘mmm’, voice filled with all the suspicion that rang in my head from the very first call. “Maybe she should work on rebuilding the bridge before she blazes over it?”
“You’d think, huh? I don’t know how many times I told her Jacob and I hadn’t even discussed what our dream wedding would look like and how she completely ignored that ‘tiny hiccup’.”
Our eyes met and the unspoken question was plain as day, hitting me like a blow to the chest: Why hadn’t we talked about our wedding?
“We’ve both been so busy. I mean, we’re not purposefully not talking about it. And he’s going to be out of town until he gets a handle on the merger and--” I took a breath, realizing I was babbling. My hands were clammy and I was nervous as hell, trying to explain why my fiancé and I neglected to have a very important conversation.
“Everything good with you and Jacob?” Megan asked cautiously.
“Good? Everything’s great!” I answered quickly. I immediately realized I was a little too eager and leaned back, steadying my nerves. “Our intimacy level is through the roof. We even--” I decided against telling her what we’d done on the very cushion she was sitting on, but the way she made a face and jumped to her feet meant she could put two and two together.
“Eww, really?!” She shot me a look before she started pacing back and forth. “Anyway...you’re good in the bedroom, but how about emotionally?”
“Emotionally?” I recalled his confession about his suicidal moment. HIs mother’s frequent suicidal moments. Together, we’d stripped down the layers until I knew everything about who he was and he knew...”Oh my god.”
Megan stopped pacing. “What?”
“He opened up to me, but I--I’ve never opened up to him. Sexually, sure. But never about my past. Or about the wedding.”
“Why?”
I shrugged, not sure of the answer. “I guess my life is pretty unimpressive.”
“That’s a cop-out and you know it,” she tsked. “I get that Jacob is going through a lot and had some really horrible things happen when he was a child, but it doesn’t make your story any less important.”
“Yeah, but--”
“Are you his therapist or his fiancé?”
