AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Jordan rolled his shoulders as he shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t remember you being thrilled when I moved in.”
I didn’t know what to say. Was he even wrong? By the time Jordan and his dad moved in with us, I was crazy about this guy. His was the only name on my lips. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. Welcoming him with open arms would have been as bad as admitting I wanted him. And to deny my disappointment when he moved in would be impossible without revealing what my true fears had been. “I didn’t hate you,” I said at last. “I didn’t.”
“I didn’t hate you either,” he said. “It’s just…ah, can you blame us? We were barely more than children. Neither of us wanted the changes that happened.”
I watched him as he poured more wine into his glass and drank. This was the first time I heard him admit that. And it was the first time I felt safe enough to admit the same. “That’s true. I felt like Mom tricked me when she brought me down to meet you.”
“Right? I told Dad the same. He warned me ten minutes before you and Eileen walked in. It wasn’t fair.” His voice was hoarse when he spoke the last few words. “I knew you existed. I just never thought I would meet you. Or have to live with you.”
“Whoa, don’t make it sound like a life sentence,” I teased. “Besides, you had it good. Mom didn’t even tell me about you or George. Not until we entered and I realized he was who she had been seeing all those months.” I couldn’t say more than that. I couldn’t tell him that my heart had banged against my ribcage and that he had given me the most embarrassing public hard-on that had made me sit still and drag out drinking my milkshake long after everyone was done.
“I don’t know, Asher. We had to sell the house,” he said.
“Not this one,” I pointed out.
Jordan laughed. “That’s true. It’s the only one that matters.”
We shared a moment of silence. For once, it wasn’t uncomfortable. “You love this place so much.”
He tilted the glass and had a long sip of wine. He nodded before swallowing. I wanted to lick the taste of wine off his tongue if only I could. And to conceal what that thought did to my face, I did the same thing he did. I drank more. “I do love it,” Jordan said. “And not just because Dad let me help build it. I love how remote it is. It’s our slice of heaven.”
“Far from prying eyes,” I mused. The heat was rising to my face and I wasn’t sure whether to blame my imagination or Jordan’s choice of beverage. “So far out that nobody ever disturbed us.”
Jordan was silently watching his wine before meeting my gaze with his questioning eyes. “You talk like you have something to hide from.”
A lapse of judgment. It was my own doing. I sucked my teeth and shook my head. My hair flapped left and right. “Nothing to hide here. I’m not nearly as mysterious as you’d think.”
“I doubt that,” Jordan said seriously. “Everyone’s got secrets.”
“Not me,” I insisted.
“Liar.”
“What? You don’t believe me?” I demanded. “Just because you’re hiding something doesn’t mean everyone else is.”
He looked at me sternly. “Not hiding.” The words were clipped and focused. “But you can’t tell me you have no secrets at all.”
I was getting increasingly dizzier with alcohol. “We’re not teenage girls on a sleepover, Jordan,” I said, defensive annoyance plain in my tone. “If there’s something you want to ask, ask. I’m not hugging pillows and talking about secret crushes with you.”
“Whoa, alright,” Jordan said, leaning back. His legs were folded under his ass, his shorts pulling up as he tilted his torso back. Damn him. The move pulled the fabric of his shorts tightly over his crotch and I reminded myself for the millionth time that I could bet anything he was hung. What a goddamn waste. I wouldn’t call myself a size queen simply because it wasn’t something I chased, but I was gifted with a high tolerance for those early moments of discomfort and a body that allowed a lot of fun with above-average sizes. Hung guys struggled to find someone like me. “What?” Jordan asked.
I realized then that I had been staring at the bulging outline of his dick and balls. “I’m drunk.”
“Oh.” Silence. It lasted for what felt like hours. Was he disappointed that I had gotten drunk? Or was he critical that I would allow myself this lack of control? I wasn’t twenty-one yet, which Jordan had pointed out last night. More quietly, he said, “Maybe you should go to bed.”
I looked at him and we stopped. Everything stopped. Whether it was the subdued lights, the alcohol, or the dangerous line we were treading in our conversation, I felt like there was something happening between us. Not even in an abstract way. I felt something literal. There was a heaviness in the air. There was a pulse between us, like the base from the speaker, beating, brewing, tingling.
We sat far enough apart that I couldn’t even consider accidentally brushing my bare knee against his, but I suddenly longed to scoot closer and carelessly put my hand on his leg. Would he freak out the same way he had last night?
Jordan swallowed, holding my gaze evenly. He didn’t blink. He didn’t move. His lips parted a little and his tongue flicked across them quickly.
Maybe you should come to bed with me, I thought. Tuck me in. Kiss me goodnight. Walk to the door, then change your mind. Cross the room like a lightning bolt. Tear the blanket off of me. Turn me around and push my face into the pillow to muffle my moans. I wheezed a breath of air into my burning lungs. “I guess I should,” I said.
Jordan nodded.
I set my glass on the table and shifted away from him. When I got up, I didn’t want my crotch in his field of vision. The embarrassment would kill me. Even worse, I knew he wouldn’t do a damn thing about it. He wouldn’t make a move. He wouldn’t find it sexy. And I would have to live with another proof he didn’t find me attractive.
“Unless…” Jordan’s voice trailed off and I quickly flung my head around to look at him. He shrugged. “Maybe you wanna play some basketball on the PS.”
