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I lie there, feeling a new sensation, an unfamiliar soreness between my thighs.
I like it.
I just hate myself for further emotionally entwining myself with this man who has just rejected me. Now that the men know about me, know that I have his protection, I should be insisting on going back to my life at the lodge. With my work, my friends, my codfish.
But I’m not.
Am I?
I’m just another stupid girl who has let the attention of a man make her weak. I fall into a fitful sleep, my pink blanket my only comfort. When I wake in the morning, there’s a text from my mom.
It must have come in while I was sleeping.
You’re in the clear
The police will no longer be contacting you over Teddy’s death
You’re welcome
What? She’s gotten the cops to back down? I should feel relief but instead I remember the conversation I overheard between her and Joe. Please tell me you didn’t put this on Lilly, Mom.
With the time difference I’ll have to wait hours to call her, but I can’t stop myself from at least sending a text for now. I need to know what she told them. How she made this go away…
How?
He’s gone when I go out into the kitchen. Still processing last night, I’m grateful for the space to myself. I get dressed, dolling myself up a little with the green sweater and a touch of mascara and blush.
I stress-bake, two loaves of breakfast bread from the overripe bananas I had saved on the counter. Once they’re cool, I leave one out for him to snack on when he gets back from work. The other I hide in the cupboard for our breakfast.
I can’t eat, too nervous as I wait and wonder what my mom has done. Curling up on the couch with my blanket and a book, I try to settle down. My phone sits on the table by my side, my gaze constantly traveling from the page to check it.
Finally, my screen lights up with a notification.
Don’t worry about it but let’s just say
Lilly owed you one
No! My stomach sinks. This isn’t how I wanted this problem to go away…
Mom call me
She shoots back a reply.
Sorry can’t! On Joe’s boat!
BTW
Give me a call sometime so we can talk finances
Joe has a great hook up for student loans for your fall tuition!
He can get you a really low interest rate
A message comes through, saying she’s silenced her notifications.
And she’s gone.
I stare down at the screen, my mouth dropped. I’ve never had loans for college. My grandparents started putting away money on my first birthday, savings to pay for school. My mom’s always taken care of my housing and tuition bills with that money.
