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“To what, Jordan? So help me, if you say what I think you’re going to say—”
“What, Rafael? What are you going to do?”
He grits his teeth, looking at me like he’s about to lay into me. But he sighs, and his face softens. He wraps me in his arms, pulling me to him.
“I miss him too, okay? But I’m here.” The first tear falls. Then the second. “Whatever you need, take it from me. I’m here, Jordan, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“I miss him so much,” I cry. “I just miss him.”
“I know you do, baby. I know,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry he’s not here. Tell me what you need.”
I shake my head. I have no idea what I need other than Enzo, and that’s the problem.
A week later, there’s someone at the door. I can’t imagine who it would be, and my curiosity has me getting up and looking. When I make my way to the parlor, Dr. White is walking in.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I’m here for you check up. Didn’t Enzo tell you?”
Footsteps on the stairs have me looking up, hopeful. But it’s Rafael walking down.
“Enzo hasn’t been here,” he says with a shake of his head.
Dr. White nods. “He did mention he may not be here when I got here but said to perform the check-up anyway.”
Rafael reaches my side, placing a hand on my lower back.
“This is non-negotiable,” he says to me softly.
I sigh, and we turn and head to the medical room.
I hop up on the table, and Dr. White does his thing. Checks my vitals. Listens to the heartbeat again, only this time he moves around to get both of them.
“They’re very good. Still hanging around the 140s, which is perfect.”
I smile, trying to be happy about this, and part of me is. Deep down, buried under all the depression, is happiness for my babies. I’m literally creating life.
“How have you been feeling?” he asks.
“Fine,” I say quickly.
“Things have been difficult,” Rafael adds. I shoot him a glare, but he ignores it. “Jordan has been stressed.”
Dr. White nods. “Stress isn’t good for the babies. Especially twins.” He glances at Rafael, to me, and when he speaks next, the look on his face tells me he isn’t sure if he should be saying what he says. “I know this type of lifestyle isn’t easy, so do what you can to relax, okay?”
“Do you have any suggestions?” Rafael asks. “I think she’s bored with watching tv and playing Monopoly.”
Dr. White huffs out a laugh.
“Of course.” He stands to gather his things, putting them all in his bag. “Massages, but not deep tissue. Meditating. Light exercise. Music. Yoga. Baths are okay. Warm, not hot. And sex.”
I perk up at that. Hadn’t really thought about that because—well, because Enzo and I agreed we wouldn’t.
But Enzo isn’t here.
“Thank you,” Rafael says. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He moves to me, helping me off the table so we can see Dr. White out. Once he’s gone, I turn to Rafael.
“Have sex with me.”
