Page 123 of The Pain We Nurture


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Get your fucking ass down here right now before I come up there and beat your goddamn ass through the floor and shove that nasty ass fucking mac and cheese down your throat and choke you with it. -J-Dawg

Knowing he was serious, and slightly afraid of Johnathan’s background as a torture specialist for the government, Colin’s heart raced as he tripped down the stairs in his hurry. Recovering quickly, he rounded to the foyer where he saw Johnathan trying to weasel pancakes out of Allison’s plate, who was currently not in the mood to share.

Colin caught his eye as he turned the corner and saw Vanessa determinedly trying to work his espresso machine. His eyes widened, seeing Olivia place the biggest turkey he’d ever seen in his life in his oven while she was speaking to Johnathan.

“Bro! You have really got to stop it with the Halal shit. We know. We’re not going to poison you; I bought beef to go into the greens, okay? Jesus,” Olivia said breathlessly, closing the oven door and wiping her hands down the front of her apron.

Happy Thanksgiving balloons were blown up in the kitchen area nook, and polaroid pictures of them all were stuck to the balloons. It was cheap looking, but perfect. Colin rounded the island and greeted everyone, giving Allison a kiss on the top of her head. She was reluctantly holding out a sliver of pancake on a fork for Johnathan.

“Happy Thanksgiving baby,” he whispered when he got to Olivia, who was furiously stirring something in a pot. She gave him a sweet kiss as he leaned over to peek in, his stomach turning. Swallowing thickly, he turned and gratefully grabbed a pre-made mimosa.

He jerked his head at Johnathan, who was currently throwing daggers his way, absolutely seething.

“Hey, when Olivia’s done getting the food together, we can go downstairs and swim while we watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade on the television. I just had four big monitors mounted. We can put the game on, a Disney show, or both…whatever,” he announced, letting the girls know he and Johnathan were going to go to the lower floor to get it ready.

The girls nodded, each distracted by their respective tasks. He took the opportunity to sneak a couple cartons of leftover lo mein noodles from the fridge and exited the kitchen, him and Johnathan taking the elevator. They snuck into the lower-level full working kitchen where he’d had a couple extra refrigerators, a deep freezer, and a small dining room table.

“Dude, I’ve never in my life ate something like that before, how do you fuck mac and cheese up that bad?” Johnathan said, taking a seat and shoveling the cold noodles in mouth gratefully, not even bothering to warm it up. “I mean I actually got a migraine after we went to bed, couldn’t even touch Vanessa. I thought you were going to have to take me to the hospital.”

“I have no clue. No one told you to eat a fucking whole plate. Vanessa and I didn’t,” he responded. He checked his texts for the instructions that Vanessa had sent him about how to schedule the food warm-up process, so she knew how to start switching out different dishes.

Is she going to notice the turkey is a slightly different size? I’ll have you know, I don’t really like lying to her like this. It is important to me that she trusts us. -C. He texted her.

He paused at the irony of the situation. He felt bad about catering a dinner but couldn’t tell her about the accident.

No, I normally carve it, so we don’t need to worry about that. Colin, she will be devastated if we hurt her feelings this way. I know you respect her and want her trust, but I need you to help keep this family secret tradition going. Grandpa and I used to do the same thing. Relax bro.-Nessie

“Well, excuse me for trying to impress the girl’s sister,” Johnathan said, rolling his eyes and going to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Colin looked on in amusement as his eyes widened in delight at all the catered Thanksgiving food he’d stashed there. Grabbing the bottle, Johnathan turned and looked Colin up and down.

“And since we're talking about screw ups, let’s talk about that little slip up last night,” Johnathan said lightly before landing his observant eyes on Colin’s face.

Colin was busy trying to turn the oven to the correct temperature. Pointedly ignoring him. That niggling feeling came back full force at the mention of his 'slip up'.

“I mean, I’ve heard of women cooking so good that they evoke a love confession… but she managed to do that while she simultaneously poisoned us,” his friend joked, trying to lighten the mood. Colin continued to ignore his friend, stepping around him to grab the turkey from the refrigerator.

Johnathan stepped closer, grasping his shoulder affectionately. “Bro, do you really love her?” he probed, decidingly not letting him ignore his question.

Colin stopped in the process of putting the turkey on warm in the oven. He glanced up at his oldest, most trusted friend and nodded his head twice. Not quite able to say it again.

“Have you told her about the accident?” he pressed deeper, not letting up.

Colin gave him a deep, exasperated exhale. “No, John. I haven’t. Her parents died by getting hit by a drunk driver. When she finds out about what I did, she won’t understand. She probably won’t even sit still long enough to listen. She’ll hate me.”

His friend's eyes softened. “But you weren’t drunk, Colin,” he said softly.

Colin huffed a deep breath and turned to his friend swiftly. “It doesn’t matter. Five people are dead because of me,” his hard eyes met his friends steadily, not backing down. “And no matter how much therapy I have, that won’t bring them back.”

His hands fisted slightly as he became anxious and agitated at the thought of Olivia leaving him, if she found out. If he’d ever had the courage to tell her.

“I don’t want to lose her,” he said gruffly. “That’s why I drew up that fucked up agreement.”

Johnathan nodded. “You’d be surprised which demons dance very well together Colin. You should give her a chance. She might surprise you. She’s harboring secrets of her own.”

Colin nodded. “Aint it fucked up? We're living together and don’t even know each other. Really,” Colin said irritably.

“But you know you love her, and love conquers all. Vanessa has alluded to the fact that she thinks that Olivia loves you, too.”

“Yeah, but she hasn’t said it,” Colin shot back irritably.

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