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Olivia bit back a grin, not feeling the need to tell Allison that she probably wouldn't be able to help in that way at least for a year. She bit off another bite of her ice cream sandwich and tilted it to Allison. "Want a bite?" she asked. Allison nodded her head and bit off a huge chunk, getting some onto her shirt.
Olivia reached forward and wiped it off with a napkin and smoothed her hand down her hair and leaned in to kiss the top of her head.
"I think you're going to be the best big sister in the whole world. You know, your mommy is my big sister, and I love her so much. Big sisters have such an important job, you know. And I think you're going to be amazing at it." Olivia encouraged, feeling the part of her soul that ached at giving her up begin to hurt slightly more.
Allison looked up at Olivia with wide eyes. "I'm ready Auntie Ollie!” she quipped with a serious expression on her face.
Olivia smiled down at her. "I know you are baby, I know you are! Let's go play in the water." Olivia grabbed her hand, and they took off running to splash the rest of the afternoon away, and when Allison laid her head wearily on Olivia's shoulder hours later, she picked her up and carried her to the black SUV and climbed in. She watched her sleep on her the entire way back to the house, allowing herself to feel what she could have had as Allison's mother, had events not turned out so wrong.
She took a moment to cry silently, keeping her face out of the eyeline of Zero, and let herself imagine she was about to carry her baby home to tuck into bed for a nap, instead of back to her sister and Jonathan, where she knew Allison really belonged.
Her heart ached, needing closure, but wasn’t quite sure how to get it.
She feared she never would.
***
A week later brought more death, two redheaded toddler twins. As well as another text from Carmichael.
There’s about thirty-five other redheads in the area. How many of them do you love and care about? Are you ready to give up and come to me? I will take you willingly. Matter of fact, I’d prefer it as I don’t necessarily want to make you scream, but I will if this carries on for much longer. -Maleficia propositis distinguuntur
Zero sat both Colin and Olivia down in the study and reported the news to them both about the children’s deaths.
Olivia stormed out in anger when Colin brought out his phone to call Jonathan to discuss the news with him. Zero was hot on her heels. She was taking it incredibly hard. It was clear that Carmichael wouldn’t rest until he got what he wanted. At this point, she was ready to just go to him herself and stop the madness. The thought of Allison being hurt paralyzed her senses, making her unable to think straight. Walking into the kitchen and pausing at the pantry door, she whipped out her phone and pulled up her chat with Vanessa.
Nessie. Two more deaths, toddler twins. I just can’t believe this! What do we do, it’s like we’re just sitting ducks. Is ANYONE going to go after this guy? -Olivia
Olivia’s eyes flickered, seeing Zero standing a few feet away from her, arms behind his back. Just standing there regarding her quietly. Pissed off, she stared back at him, tired of having her privacy invaded. Her skin crawled and burned, demanding relief. Her phone dinged with Vanessa's quick reply.
Ollie, you have to let them do their thing. We are not vigilantes, this man is high up in Government, and even with the men’s resources we have to tread very carefully. Please trust they know what they are doing and most of all STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT.-Nessie
Olivia threw her head back on a frustrated groan and then pursed her lips, seeing Zero still staring, assessing her. She narrowed her eyes.
“Zero, I swear to God if you don’t leave me the fuck alone right this instant, I will find a way to drown your ass in your SLEEP!” Olivia hissed at him, she lingered in the doorway of the pantry in the kitchen. “There’s no window or secret door in here, I have to come out the same way I come in so leave me the hell alone!” Olivia backed into the massive walk-in pantry and slammed the door in Zero’s face, her eyes flashing.
She stood there, breathing hard as she finally let herself have her moment to cry.
Her face broke, her features contorting as she slapped both hands over her mouth to keep her ragged sobs in. She fell to her knees, trembling, her hands flat on the floor as she gritted her teeth hard. Ignoring the flash of pain that erupted in her skull at the vicious action.
What was it all for? Giving Allison up, killing myself to pay her doctor bills, Vanessa’s marriage ending, and now she finally gets a liver? What was it all for if this man is going to take everything away from us? She lamented.
Crying hard, she gasped for air and slapped her hand to her forearm, squeezing the flesh tightly. She moaned, digging her nails in and scraping. Her heart beat out of control and she repeated the movement, not getting the relief she needed. Looking up, she spotted the shiny stainless steel knife handles gleaming in the light of the pantry and paused, feeling conflicted.
A nervous, excited tingle caressed her body, and she licked her lips, flicking her eyes nervously to the closed door, then to the knives again.
Colin wouldn’t want me to do this…. Olivia thought to herself. She stayed unmoving, staring at the handle blades, knowing she would find relief if she could dig just deep enough.
Hauling herself off the floor with a grunt, she snatched one out of the knife block. Desperate, she laid her forearm on the counter and pressed the sharp tip of the blade into her forearm. She felt herself break out into a sheen of sweat and her hand shook, anticipating the burning sensation she knew would follow. Her hand trembled.
Just a tiny cut. He won’t know if I make it small enough, she thought.
Olivia pressed down right as the pantry door swung open.Her head swung up just as the first speck of blood bubbled up out of her arm and Colin appeared, freezing as he saw her standing there silently with the knife to her arm. His eyes met hers and they stared at each other for a tense few seconds.
Olivia trembled, feeling the drop of blood drip slowly down her arm.
Eyes tight on hers, Colin walked in, closing the door softly behind him. “Is this what you need? This is why you’ve been scratching at yourself?” he asked quietly. The question hung uncomfortably in the air between them.
Olivia swallowed hard and felt a tear escape her eye, staying silent. Her lips quivered, and she gasped as the tip of the knife slid minutely deeper. Colin reached forward fast, taking the knife efficiently from her with one hand as he gripped her chin roughly with his other, hauling her face to the side to look at him dead on. He met her eyes and breathed deeply for half a second, smelling the fear on her, as well as her conflict.
