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Tonight when I’d been packing our lunch and noticed him in the doorway, I saw something in his eyes that told me not to give up. It was the way his eyes softened and the faint smile on his lips. He looked almost nostalgic. And while I knew that I might be seeing what I wanted instead of what was, I had to give us another shot. Another chance at our happily-ever-after. I needed to at least try.
As though having a sixth sense that I needed him he strode around the corner into the living room. With a lot less grunting than I’d done over the stupidly heavy container, he lifted it from my grasp. “You should have waited for me.”
I rolled my eyes. “You left thirty minutes ago. I got tired of waiting.”
His seemingly ever present frown returned. “I didn’t have a choice,” his deep voice reminded me.
With a sigh I touched his arm. “You always have a choice.”
Work, or whatever the call was about, shouldn’t control his life. Although, I had a sinking suspicion the person on the other end of the phone didn’t have anything to do with the businesses he ran. Otherwise he’d have stayed in the room with me and listed off tasks we needed to take care of the next day.
The only calls he seemed to keep private from me involved his investigation into his father’s death and the once a month call he didn’t think I knew about. I’d accidentally overheard him one morning rattling off a business name and didn’t think anything of it. When I noticed he took a call every first Monday of the month at the same time my interest had piqued along with curiosity when I heard that the business he mentioned was on the news. Sensitive information had gotten out about unfair labor practices and the organization was under investigation.
“Where do you want this?” he asked, ignoring my statement.
I pointed over to the tree I’d set up in the corner. While I preferred a real one I figured it was best for Jareth to step into holiday cheer in stages. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.” His use of ‘fine’ had the back of my neck tingling.
“It doesn’t seem that way.” To everyone else his bluster all seemed the same. He sounded like an arrogant jerk and those same people didn’t try to look any deeper. Sometimes I thought I might be the only one that saw him, truly saw him, underneath it all. I was likely the only one who noticed the scared little boy beneath the grumpy, stern façade he showed most of the world.
When he looked at me, his passive expression should’ve shut down any conversation, yet I saw the edge of desperation that shadowed his eyes. The same look I’d noticed accompanied information about his dad. Over the years, he’d trusted me enough to know that he was intent on finding the people responsible for the death of his father and making them pay, but not the details associated with his search.
“I thought we were decorating tonight, not prying into my private life,” he ground out between clenched teeth.
“Fine. Let’s just bottle up all our emotions. You seem good at that,” I said in an overly cheerful tone that likely grated on his nerves. Good. I pushed past him to open another tote I’d brought in earlier.
Why was it so difficult for him to trust me?
“Hazel.” He sighed, the hard edge to his voice now absent.
“What?” I tossed the lid of the box to the floor and yanked on the strand of fake cranberries I wanted to wrap around the tree or maybe his neck. I still hadn’t decided. He was infuriating. How could I hope for us to develop anything more than a boss and employee relationship when he wouldn’t open up?
The darn rope got stuck under another decoration in the box. I tugged harder. When nothing happened I planted my feet to get better traction and yanked again. The rope released and I stumbled backward, the cranberry strand flying out of my grasp.
His strong arms wrapped around me from behind. My already erratic heartbeat stuttered even more. For the tiniest moment I let my body relax and sink into him. To pretend this was our normal. His familiar spicy scent filled my nose and I fought against the need to turn around and bury my face in his tanned neck. When he didn’t immediately let go I stayed put not wanting to miss out on this rare chance to be close to him.
“I don’t want you mixed up in any of this,” he whispered against my ear.
A shiver worked its way through my traitorous body. A body that seemed to suddenly sit up and cheer. My core clenched, my nipples pebbled, and it took everything in me not to shift so his arm brushed against my breasts.
This was the best and worst kind of torture.
I twisted my head around so that it now lay against his rock-like chest, the warmth of his skin seeping into mine. “You need someone who’s in your corner,” I answered. “Why can’t it be me?”
His nose ran along the curve of my neck. I’d been waiting for this, or something like this to happen, since the Christmas party. Not wanting to do anything that might make him stop, I forced myself to inhale slowly, and tilted my head further to give him better access.
“Leave it alone,” he rasped. His lips taking the same trail back down.
A tiny whimper left my mouth when his thickening cock pressed against my back. He wasn’t as unaffected as he wished me to believe. My lack of experience was glaringly obvious in moments like this when I wanted to be the aggressor but was woefully unprepared. Doubts seeped in, paralyzing me further. He clearly had the skills to seduce someone. I feared his interest would wane even further if he knew I had no confidence in myself and no idea what to do physically.
As my thoughts beat a relentless tempo in my mind, he stiffened before gently lifting me away from him. “Where should I start?” he asked, moving closer to the fireplace. Far out of reach. I wasn’t sure if it was for my benefit or his.
“I, uh… ” His touch had scrambled my ability to speak.
With some of my senses returning, a frustrated growl left my lips at his less than subtle reminder that he didn’t need my support or anything else from me. I shoved away the sadness that loomed at his rejection. And while a blow to my ego, I reminded myself that he kept everyone at a distance. Not just me.
I plastered a smile on my face. He hadn’t had a lot of happy times since his father died. Decorating and creating new memories to replace the last twenty years was my newest goal. Even if this was the one and only thing I could give him. Regardless, if my plan to make him realize we belonged together failed, I still wanted to share my favorite holiday with him. Perhaps if he had more experiences that showed him there was more to life than revenge, he could find happiness. And if I was lucky I’d get him to lighten up and relax while I was here.
