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“Honestly, I likely would have continued the way we were forever, even though looking back now I can see I was attracted to her.”
Gran snorted. “Son, you were the only one who didn’t see it.”
I hadn’t either, but I knew better than to interrupt.
“When Hazel signed up for a dating site it didn’t sit right with me, but it wasn’t until she decided to accept a date that I realized I likely missed my chance. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being with anyone but me.”
Gran tilted her head, keeping his gaze the whole time. “So you decided to start something with my granddaughter because you didn’t want anyone else to have her.”
Jareth crossed his arms over his chest. His expressions ranged from anger to annoyance and then finally ended in acceptance. “Yes.”
I stared at him, my eyes wide. What was he doing? I knew what we had was more than that but she didn’t. Surprisingly, Gran didn’t utter a word.
“At first it was like that, but once I realized it wasn’t just that I wanted her or didn’t want her to be with someone else. I couldn’t imagine not being with her or not having her sunshine light up my life.”
“Do you love her?” Gran asked, she mimicked Jareth’s stance and crossed her arms.
I sucked in a breath so fast I choked on my spit. They at least waited until I had the ability to stop coughing before they continued.
“I don’t know,” Jareth answered honestly.
Even though I didn’t want to hear lies spill from his lips, his admission hurt just the same.
“I’ve never experienced romantic love and the only other person I loved in this world, without condition, died twenty years ago. It’s hard to open my heart when I know how much it hurts to lose someone.”
How sad was it that he’d never found another person in this world to love after his dad died. I wanted to jump up and hug him. I almost did until Gran threw a ‘stay there’ look my way.
Jareth stared at me. An impenetrable look carved into his face. His jaw ticked and emotions flashed through his eyes so fast I couldn’t pick out which one to focus on. When the silence grew, I realized Gran was using it as a tactic, just like Jareth, to draw forth answers.
“But I want to try,” he finally admitted. He said it so low I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right over the whooshing in my ears.
Gran patted his hand. “That’s all you can do. No one has any guarantee, but if you keep yourself closed off from her someday she’ll move on to find someone who can give her what she needs.”
I hadn’t set Gran up to say any of this, but she asked questions I didn’t dare to and maybe that’s why she did it. Jareth wanted to give us a try. I knew deep within my soul he was telling the truth. Yet, I also saw the pensive stares when he thought I wasn’t looking. How in the tense set of his jaw that he didn’t believe we’d last. That the important people had walked away from him, or were taken by death, and he feared I’d leave him too.
Knowing him as well as I did, I feared pushing him too far too fast. Jareth and I had not been together long, although my heart had been falling for him for the last three years. I was grateful to Gran that she was the one pushing for answers, and forcing this conversation. The questions she asked I’d buried deep within my heart. Part of me wondered if we had a future and if he’d ever let me fully in. I knew I was in love with Jareth, and even though deep down I was sure he felt the same, how long could I stay if he was never able to admit it?
I needed to shut down this line of thought. There was no need to be sad about what might be. I had to stay optimistic. I didn’t need to figure any of this out today.
“And what about you?” Gran turned the tables on me and yanked me out of my gloomy thoughts.
I glanced at Jareth. The look on his face hadn’t changed, but I could see his hands clenched on his lap. He’d thought because of his confession about not yet loving me I might walk away. “I think being willing to try is good enough for me.”
Jareth visibly relaxed. The tension in his muscles eased and instead of his trademark smirk, a real, genuine smile that reached his eyes settled on his face.
Gran smiled at me. “Well I don’t love that you missed Christmas with me, being that it’s our favorite holiday, but I can see now why you did. And if it ever happens again, you two better take me with you.”
Seeing her on our side right now, I thought it best to not mention that I hadn’t been given a choice about going away. I laughed. “Deal.”
“Now, I was promised presents. Where are they?” Gran quickly changed topics, and I was grateful for the reprieve. My eyes met Jareth’s, and I tried to silently communicate all the love I felt for him.
I just had to hope it was enough.
We sat in the backseat of Jareth’s car headed to The Wooden Nickel. “I’m so sorry about Gran.”
He reached over and pulled me onto his lap, nuzzling into my shoulder, and drawing a deep breath. I ran my hands through his hair, letting the soft strands slip through my fingers.
“You do know that she’ll hold you to every promise you made and expect us to take her to all those vacation spots?”
