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“Don’t.” She shakes her head even more vehemently.
“Don’t, what?”
“Apologize.”
“How can I do anything else? You didn’t want me to kiss you.”
That much was obvious. She might have just thrown me by confessing that her strange behavior around Keira was based upon her misconception that I’d been in a relationship with Drew’s ex. I misinterpreted that admission as a sign that Livia was interested in me, that maybe she was jealous, and I stupidly acted on that misinterpretation and kissed her. What I hadn’t expected was for her to freeze me out, and my only solace now is that I didn’t pursue the kiss. I stopped the moment I realized it wasn’t what she wanted. Now, I just have to work out how to get back from here without doing any more damage.
“I—I…”
“It’s okay. This is my fault, Livia.”
“No, it isn’t,” she says. “You don’t understand.”
“Yeah, I do. I’m really sorry. I thought…”
“Will you stop apologizing?” She puts her thumbnail in her mouth, chewing on it for a second before she removes it again, gazing up at me. “Why do you think I was having such a hard time over you and Keira?”
“I don’t know.” I thought I did, but it seems I don’t… not based on that kiss, anyway.
She sighs and looks around, desperation clouding her eyes. She seems lost, like she’s searching for inspiration, and I wonder if maybe I didn’t misunderstand at all. It’s beyond the bounds of all hope, but nothing else makes sense.
“Would it help if I withdrew my apology?” I say and she returns her gaze to me, her eyes sparkling and a smile tugging at her lips. Oh, God… can it be? I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding and move closer to her again, looking down into her upturned face. “Would it help if I told you I’m not sorry I kissed you at all… as long as you’re not?”
Her smile fills out, and she nods her head. “Yes. It would help enormously.”
“Okay.” I feel like I’m on the edge of a precipice and, despite the nerves swirling in my stomach, I can’t wait to take that first leap.
“I’m sorry if I got that wrong,” she says. “I—I just wasn’t expecting you to kiss me… or that you’d want to.”
“You didn’t think I’d want to kiss you?” She shakes her head, and without hesitating, I take that leap… all the way in. I grab her around the waist and pull her right up against me. She yelps in surprise, but her smile turns into a grin as she gazes up into my eyes. “Livia… I’ve thought of nothing else since the day you first walked into my office.”
Her eyes widen. “You mean you’ve wanted to kiss me all this time?”
“Yes.”
“I—I didn’t realize.”
“Why would you?” It’s now or never… “You had no way of knowing I’d fallen in love with you.”
She gasps. “Y—You did?”
“Yeah. And I’ve been battling my conscience ever since.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re so young, and because you work for me. There are rules… not about age gaps, but about bosses hitting on their employees.”
“And is that what you’re doing? Hitting on me?”
“No. It’s more than that.”
She nods her head slowly. “In that case, I don’t see that the rules matter.”
“Neither do I,” I say, smiling.
“And is your conscience still giving you trouble?” she asks.
