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Sasha was still dozing in the room next door, where the three of us had been tossed up in the covers all night, but when I heard Jo waking to get Kyra ready for school, I knew I wanted to help her out. Not just because I wanted to make her life easier, though that was part of it – no, if I was going to be a part of Kyra’s life, and I wanted to be, I had to be here for every part of it. Even the school run. Even if I was tired from being up all night and...well, yeah. Having more fun than I’d had in years, that was for sure.
I’d made Kyra and Jo breakfast while Jo helped our daughter get her bag packed for school – I wasn’t much of a cook, but it was something I could do right. My car was parked outside, and I intended to drive them down to school since I knew Jo didn’t have a car of her own. Damn, I would have carried her there myself if that’s what she wanted – I just knew I would have done anything to make Jo’s life a little easier.
"We should get going," Jo remarked, as she glanced down at her watch. "The bus leaves in"
"I’ll drive," I offered, and she raised her eyebrows at me. I half-expected her to protest, but she just grinned.
"That sounds great," she replied. "Come on, Kyra – grab your bag and we can go. Did you remember to pack your math homework...?"
Kyra, with her backpack strapped on, headed downstairs, and Jo and I followed behind her. I slipped my hand into Jo’s now that I was sure Kyra wouldn’t see us, and she snuck a glance at me out of the corner of her eye – I could see a little flush to her cheeks like she was enjoying this.
And I was, too. Which surprised me. I had never imagined that I would get something out of this sort of domesticity. I had been so against it for so long – maybe because I felt like, if I slowed down long enough, someone would clock on to everything I was trying to hide. But with her, here, now, there was nothing for me to hide. I could just...be myself. And I wanted to.
I really, truly wanted to.
I drove Kyra to school, and she reached over to give Jo a hug before she left – and then, to my surprise, did the same to me.
"See you soon!” she told me, as she climbed out of the car, and I waved her off, unable to keep the smile off of my face.
"She’s totally going to expect you to pick her up again after school, you know," she warned me. I grinned.
"I can handle that," I replied. "I don’t have to be in to work till later. I could pick her up too, if you want."
"I think I would," she replied, biting her lip. "Come on, let’s get home. I want to see Sasha. We’ve got a lot to talk about, huh?"
I drove us back to her place, and she rolled down the window, letting the air rush over her face – her hair danced in the breeze, and I stole glances at her at every chance I got. God, she looked so beautiful. As though a weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders, a weight she didn’t even know she had been carrying.
When we got back to the apartment, Sasha was finally up, looking a little bleary around the edges.
"How did you guys manage to get up so early?” he asked us, groaning as he rubbed a hand over his face. "I’m still exhausted..."
"When you’ve got a kid, trust me, you have to get used to doing things while you’re tired," she explained, as she went to make herself a pot of coffee. Sasha and I exchanged a look, and a smile – I was still wrapping my head around how hot I found him, now I could actually be honest with myself. All this time, I had been trying to deny how into him I was, but now I could see it clearly, it seemed so damn obvious.
She made us a large pot to pour from, and, as we stood around the kitchen together, a comfortable silence settled over us. It wasn’t like before, when there had seemed to be so much in the air between us that we couldn’t say out loud – no, this was easy, comfortable, and I wanted it to stay that way.
"So...what happens now?" Sasha asked finally, and Jo glanced between the two of us.
"I mean...what do you guys want to happen now?" she asked softly.
"No, I’m asking you," Sasha replied, turning to her, reaching for her hand, and giving it a squeeze. "You tell us what you want."
"Yeah, in a perfect world," I cut in. "What exactly would you want to happen next?”
She took a deep breath, considering the questions as she looked between us.
"Well," she began. "I think I’d like to do what we did last night again. A lot, actually. It was...I’ve never felt like that before in my life, that kind of pleasure, that kind of orgasm. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to satisfy myself with just one guy now."
"Oh, that can be arranged," Sasha murmured, and she giggled as he planted a kiss on her neck. I liked seeing them together; the ease with which they seemed to fit into each other, knowing there was space for me there, too.
"But I...I don’t want to just have this be a physical thing," she confessed. "Being with the two of you, getting to know you both, it’s been...it’s been so good for me. I’ve been cutting myself off from the rest of the world for so long, just focusing on Kyra, and don’t get me wrong, she’s still my priority. But I want more than that. I want a family. A family of my own. Not the ones who cut me off or left me behind, a family I chose. A family I know will support me and accept me no matter what..."
She glanced between us.
"And I think you might be that family for me. And for Kyra. If you want."
Those words hung in the air between us, and the profundity of them wasn’t lost on me. All of us, we’d been cut off from our families one way or another - the judgment that hung heavy over our heads more than we could take, driving us apart from the people we should have held dearest to us. But it didn’t need to stay that way – it didn’t need to stay as lonely as it had been for us.
"I think I’d like that," Sasha replied, finally breaking the silence. I nodded. It was hard for me to put it into words, but I wanted it, too. No, more than that – I needed it. A place where I could live honestly as myself. With people who cared about me. Maybe even...maybe even people who could love me, one day, if I stuck around long enough to find out.
