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“Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.” I sigh.
But as I kneel there, simmering in my disappointment, the indolo suddenly steps forward and presses both of its heads against mine. Just like that, I’m in the absolute darkness of night, Anok floating in front of me, a shadow within shadows.
She smiles, stars glimmering in her teeth. “Hello, Deka. It has been some time.”
“Just over three months,” I say. “But I know time moves differently for you.”
“When it comes to you, no,” she says, shaking her head. “Time is a constant with you. You are my constant. At least this version of you.”
“What about the other one?” I ask, thinking of the Singular, the god I was before I fell and became this thing that’s not quite alaki, not quite human, and not quite a god.
“Before, you were my sibling, a deep and true part of me. And then you became my enemy. Then my desperate hope. But all those yous are different from this you, and yet still the same.”
She floats closer, tiny nebulas flowing in the coils of her hair. “You seem changed. You have met our siblings in Maiwuri?”
I laugh bitterly. “Yes. And I’ve been exposed to the concept of the Greater Divinity.”
“Not a concept. All,” Anok insists. “The Greater Divinity is all.”
“Or perhaps it’s another god I need to prepare myself for,” I reply, voicing my doubts. “But then, there’s always another god, always another something. Always, always, always….” Frustration rushes out of me, a swift and endless river.
I hadn’t allowed myself to feel the loss of my kelai, the anguish at being so close to retrieving it. Now that I am, I’m a mass of anger and frustration.
“Deka….” Anok’s voice is calming, the foundation that forces the river of frustration to slow, to remain within its boundaries instead of spilling over everything. She puts a hand wreathed with the light of a thousand constellations on my shoulder. “There is no other god, no greater god, than ourselves. Every single one of us. Everything is one. As it has always been.”
I glance up at her, confused. Something in her words reminds me of Myter, of the conversations we had in the pathways. “You speak in riddles,” I say.
Anok rests her head against mine. “I love you so. I never had a chance to tell you that. To tell my beloved children—Fatu especially—how deeply I love you. How perfect you are, each and every one of you.
“To me, you are everything. You always have been. All of you, even Melanis and her brood, lost as they are to their hatred now. That is what I came here to tell you.”
Anok pulls back and looks at me. There’s a universe in her eyes. A universe of love and belonging. And regret. There’s so much regret in Anok’s eyes. It reminds me of Okot, of what he said to me as he left me in the vale: I truly wish we could have been allies.
But it makes sense that the pair remind me of each other. Once upon a time, they were one.
“You must go now—swiftly, Deka. My sisters know that you’re here, and they’ve sent Melanis for you, imbued her with all the power they can. If she meets you here, she will undoubtedly take you, and then all will be lost.”
I nod. “Thank you for the warning, I will leave now.”
But Anok is already fading, light growing where her darkness once was. She smiles at me. “Know that it has truly been my pleasure to know you. I will see you again in the Great Circle,” she finishes.
And then she’s gone.
I gasp, surfacing, to find myself surrounded by my friends. The indolo is nowhere to be seen. “Where is Anok? The indolo, where is it?”
“The indolo?” Britta looks at me, seemingly confused. But that’s a distant second to the panic simmering in her eyes. “What happened, Deka? Just as we were planning to leave, ye fell asleep.”
“We’ve been trying to wake you,” Keita says, embracing me with relief. Then he pulls back. “Are the sores returning? Is the armor failing?”
“No.” I shake my head. “That’s not it. I was just talking to Anok and—” A distant shriek interrupts my words, a horrifying reminder. “The goddesses know we’re here. We have to go!” I say, already summoning a door.
It opens within moments, and just in time. Melanis and her hunters glow in the darkness, their bodies filled with divine energy, as they approach.
“Deka!” Melanis shrieks when she sees me, but I just smirk at her.
“If only they’d taught you to use all that power to create doors,” I say.
And then I slip through mine, spiriting myself and my friends safely from her grasp.
