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Chapter Twenty
I’m silent for the rest of the ride. I have questions. Oh lord of the underworld, do I have questions. But mostly I’m not sure what to do about any of it. Or more, I’m not sure what I can do about any of it. It’s disconcerting, to say the least, and I don’t know what, if anything, I should say to my mom. She didn’t know about the will change any more than I did. She wasn’t even upset about the money going to me, just surprised.
Any rift between us lately has been surrounding her wanting me to marry Ezra, as that’s what my father had wanted.
Speaking of...
Ezra: I miss you. I still can’t believe you did this to us. All I want is you back.
I sigh. He’s averaging roughly five to six texts a day. Lenox pulls out his phone, checks it, and grits his teeth, his blue eyes peering coolly over at me. I’m assuming since he’s tapped into Ezra’s phone, he can see that text.
“You should know he does miss you. He’s a whiny bitch to his father and his friend about it.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, you mean pervy Frank?”
He tilts his head. “That’s what you call Francis Caulder?”
“He stares at my tits every time he talks to me.”
“I can’t blame him for that, even if I now want to kill him for it. You should also know Ezra is fucking around with his assistant.”
I snort. “Poor Marni. She was sweet but always very obviously in love with him. Why are you telling me this?”
“In case you were planning to go back to him.”
“I’m not. He’s lying to Frank to make himself look like the victim. He doesn’t miss me. He misses his shot at my money. Besides, that ship sailed long before I didn’t marry him. Not that being married to you has been the time of my life either, but likely better by comparison.”
He studies me. “You still don’t forgive me yet?”
I smile sweetly. “Nope. How are your balls? Are they blue?” My voice drops when I say that, and I make a sad face.
He grins and gives my hair a playful tug. “Nope. I had the smell and taste of your pussy all over my fingers from rubbing your clit, in addition to the mental image of you fucking me this morning. I had no problems jerking off in the shower.”
“You should get used to that. You’ll be doing it from now on.”
He chuckles as if that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever said and then hops out of his truck and comes around to help me down before I can do it myself. Alice jumps down after me, and he lets her in the shop’s back door.
I’m fuming. More annoyed and confused and stressed now than I was five minutes ago. Men suck. “What is it about me that makes it so fucking easy and desirable for you assholes to use me without care or remorse?”
Lenox freezes, his hand that was sorting through the mail poised in midair, clutching an envelope. Slowly, he turns to face me, his eyes fierce as he takes two steps until he’s directly before me. “You weren’t easy to use, and I certainly never did so without care or remorse.” He looks away for a moment, as if he’s gathering his thoughts and figuring out the right way to say this before turning back to me. “I held nothing in my hands, Georgia. But more importantly, I wasn’t deserving of anything real to fill them. I was empty inside and out. I already told you this morning that I didn’t deserve you, and I knew it all along. My life was a mess, and you telling me you loved me was the wake-up call I never knew I wanted or needed. I had to go out and try and fix myself. I had to make amends for all my wrongs the only way I could. But hurting you has been one of the main regrets of my life. Up there with letting Suzie die.”
I make a disgruntled noise in my throat, if for no other reason than to clear the emotion away. I have a lot to process with that, as I do with everything freaking else. But he has to know this. He has to.
“Do you know what I do for a living?”
“You’re a midwife.”
“Yes, Lenox Moore, I’m a midwife. That means I deliver babies and help women through their reproductive process. I have had women die on the table for no fucking reason. I have seen mothers lose babies, and babies lose mothers. And from my professional viewpoint, you have never been responsible for Suzie’s death.”
He gulps and then gulps again, his eyes glassing over. “How did you know she was pregnant?”
My fingers trickle over his stubble-lined jaw. “You told me.”
His eyes pinch shut, and he releases a shaky breath. “Evidently, I did talk to you when I spoke to no one else.”
My fingers comb back into his hair, and I grip the back of his head so he really listens to me. “Headaches are extremely common in pregnancy and can range from simple hormonal changes to dehydration to lack of protein to something scarier. Suzie was twenty-two, young and healthy, and didn’t tell any medical provider about her headaches or her other symptoms. She didn’t even tell Zax about them. That means they couldn’t check her urine or blood for abnormalities. Yes, you knew about the headaches and a few other symptoms. But she was twenty-two, Lenox. I’m not sure as a provider I would have caught it either.”
I give the strands of his hair a little shake.
