AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Ah, Kenz, please don’t cry. I don’t have a clue what to do with tears.” He stepped closer, cupping my chin.
“And you think I do? I hate crying. Say something funny, so I’ll stop.”
“My most embarrassing moment in life was during my senior year of high school when my mom walked in on me doing Lindsay Stanton doggie style on my bed,” he blurted out.
A giggle erupted, and I clasped a hand over my mouth, picturing it. “Holy crap.”
“I believe that’s what she said, too.” He exhaled harshly. “And I don’t know why I chose to share a story about me having sex with another woman to get the woman I had sex with to feel better. But that alone should highlight why I’m so bad at this.”
“You got me to stop crying.”
He let out a breath. “My point is you deserved better. You always did, but the knowledge that you didn’t think so, or you didn’t think I was capable of giving you better is the hardest part to swallow.”
I had to bite my lip to keep from tearing up again. “It wasn’t me thinking you weren’t capable. It was me being afraid to ask and take a chance at being disappointed by the answer. And I know this may freak you out, but you’ve spent more energy on me than any one of my dates ever did—not to mention you know me better than, well, pretty much anyone does. So in a way, you’ve been past fifth date status for a while.”
“It makes me crazy to think of you out with Jordan.”
“Is it him or the thought of me with anyone that’s the problem?”
“I don’t know.”
“God. You make me want to whack-a-mole you,” I muttered.
“What?”
“Whack-a-mole. The game where you use a mallet to whack the mole’s head down. I came in here ready to kill you, but my violence has now simmered down to a soft-sided mallet whacking you upside the head.”
He shook his head, looking amused.
Deciding to put it bluntly, I asked, “Do you want to be with me? That’s simply what it comes down to Colby.”
His eyes looked intense. “The very idea of a relationship intimidates the shit out of me. You think you’re aware of my flaws, but I’d be mortified if you knew half the stuff from my past. If I can’t give you what you need, it would absolutely kill me to hurt you.”
I sighed heavily. “I don’t care about your history Colby and as far as relationships go, I’m not exactly ‘couple certified,’ either, considering I’ve never been in one.”
“Wouldn’t it bother you to attend a party next time, and instead of Holli with an I who I haven’t slept with, there could be two women I have?”
“If you’re making it clear you’re with me, and not actively wishing to sleep with them, why would it?”
He shook his head. “You say that now.”
“You’re right. Neither of us knows how this will go. So we can give up now without ever trying or we can see where it goes.”
He held my gaze for the longest time. “If we do this, would you be completely honest with what you want out of a relationship?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes, and the first thing is monogamy. If that’s something you can’t do, then I’m out. I want that man you spoke of last night who can’t get me off his mind and doesn’t have room for anyone else.” There, I’d done it. I’d put it out there.
“I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since we went to Vegas on the night of your graduation party.”
I was absolutely shocked. “But you had a date that one night.”
He smirked. “You mean the day you threw yourself in front of a car?”
“Yeah, yeah, all part of my plan to keep you from sleeping with other women. Really?”
“I had that night already scheduled before we went to Vegas. Initially, I thought about maybe hooking up with her, believing it might help keep me from thinking about you that way, but—” he stopped himself mid-sentence, blushing at what he was telling me.
“I got hit by the car,” I provided, trying not to laugh at his pained expression.
