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Damn, I was doing the very thing Mark had told me I’d done with Chad. Mentally listing out the ways I wasn’t worthy. Maybe it was finally time for me to stop making excuses and call for an appointment with Dr. Mac.
I climbed aboard the Amtrak train feeling more than ready to go home. The trip would take a little over two hours, but I had a book to read and would get to check on my sleeping boy before falling into bed.
Mark’s name flashed up on my phone as the train pulled out of the station. I hesitated but then decided to answer.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Is everything okay with Tristan? Brian said you headed up early.”
Although it did something to my heart that he expressed concern, I had to wonder why he cared. “Yes, he’s good. He’s already in bed. I just—It’s not easy for me to be away from him.”
“I wish you would’ve told me. I could’ve gone with you.”
“Guess I must’ve missed the opportunity during all the conversations we had.” It was more aggressive than passive, but I couldn’t help myself.
“I didn’t—I mean I couldn’t—”
“It’s okay. I get it.”
“No, you don’t. Shit. I wish I would’ve left with you.”
“Your friends probably would’ve noticed you missing.”
“I had no clue how to act in front of them tonight. But avoiding you was shitty, and I’m sorry.
“I wasn’t sure how to act, either, but you still could’ve said hello.”
“You’re right. I fucked up. And again, I apologize.”
I wasn’t completely over it, but I recognized some of my anger had to do with my own past issues regarding my ex. “Accepted, so long as you don’t get weird again.”
“Promise I won’t. Is that why you left?”
“Partially. But mostly it’s because I like to kiss my baby before I go to bed each night. I’m certain my neurosis is unhealthy, but it’s hard for me to spend the night away from him.” There was no way I wanted to mention the cost of the hotel as being a factor too.
“You’re not neurotic. You’re a good mom who misses her son.”
Damn, the man knew how to give a compliment. So much so, I had to clear the emotion from my throat. “Thanks for saying that. Uh, I’d better go before I lose the connection.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll hopefully see you in a couple of days?”
“Sure. Maybe after my mom heads back.”
“Okay. Safe travels, Jules.”
* * *
My mom left on Monday.By Tuesday afternoon Mark texted asking if he could bring by Chinese for dinner. Once I agreed, he asked for my order.
I tried to talk myself out of feeling anxious about seeing him again. But by the time he knocked, butterflies were going bonkers in my stomach.
“Hi.” Sounding like I had just run five miles, I opened the door.
“Hi.” He bestowed a slow, lazy smile before looking behind me. “Hey, Tristan, how are you, my man? High five.”
I loved how he was so natural and was sincerely excited to spend time with my son.
“Book, book,” Tristan insisted, causing Mark to laugh.
