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Chapter Seventeen
Once we each made phone calls to inform people where we were going, we traveled in silence, both of us worried and involved in our own thoughts. I tried to keep my nerves from getting the best of me.
What if Mark didn’t want me there? What if this was all about Sarah and the holidays and nothing about me? Furthermore, I’d only just begun the attempt to move on without him in my life. What if this set me back? But then I thought of how much he’d been there for me, and it was a no-brainer that I had to at least try to give him something.
When Brian pulled the rental car into the driveway of the bungalow-style home in a quiet residential neighborhood, I swallowed hard. Mark’s house was quaint and cute, with a nice yard in front. It was also a painful reminder of the part of his life into which he hadn’t allowed me.
The engine of the rental car quieted, and Brian turned toward me. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but if this is too much…”
I gave him a small smile, putting on my brave face. “Only one way to find out. Come on.”
Brian knocked on the door.
It wasn’t a surprise that Josh answered. But what was shocking was how out of sorts he looked.
“That bad?” Brian asked.
Josh let us in, obviously having expected the both of us. “Not great. He’s been in the whiskey.”
Brian heaved a sigh which cued me in that they’d been down this road before.
“And he’s been calling for Jules.” His gaze focused on me. “I’m assuming that’s you?”
I nodded.
“Then you should know he’s mixing up his past and present. Calling for you, then Sarah. Then he’s incoherent. Unfortunately, Dr. Mac is out of town until morning. If you’d rather wait to see him until after that, it might be easier.”
I took a deep breath. “I didn’t come all this way just to wait. Is he awake?”
“In and out. I keep hoping he’ll pass out and then sober up by morning.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll go in and see if I can help.”
Brian led the way to what I assumed was Mark’s bedroom. On the way there, walking down the hall and through the large living room, I realized I might be in over my head. Everywhere I turned, I saw pictures.
Photos of Sarah. Sarah and Mark. In a frame on the corner table, on the wall. Some appeared to be their engagement photos. Along with the photos were feminine touches, making it look as though she’d just stepped out to go to the store instead of having been dead eleven years. Even her shoes were by the front door. I suspected her coats still hung in the closet.
“You okay?” Brian followed my gaze.
I shouldn’t have been surprised by the contents of the house considering he hadn’t ever invited me over, but the realization hit me now.
I’d never stood a chance.
Unbeknownst to me, I’d been competing with a memory, one he clearly wasn’t ready to let go of.
“Yeah.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat, willing myself not to meet the gaze of either man. If I saw the sympathy reflected in their eyes, I’d lose it.
His bedroom was as cluttered as his office had once looked. The image put a smile on my face. My adorable, dirty-talking dream guy was a slob of absolutely epic proportions. My amusement was quickly erased, however, when I took in his form huddled on the far side of his king-sized bed.
I closed the door, giving us privacy before I slipped off my shoes and crawled over the empty side of the mattress toward him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I breathed in his scent. Despite the odor of whiskey and stale clothes, he still smelled like my Mark. The scent evoked such nostalgia and longing that it nearly made me weep. I’d missed him badly.
“Hey, you,” I whispered.
“Jules…?” He shifted suddenly, almost squishing me with his weight when he flipped over.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
I was suddenly wrapped up in his embrace. “Am I dreaming?”
