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But I had been raised to fight for every last scrap I had been given. And then I made those scraps into a beautiful dress. Pulling my foot from his hand, I leaned down, so we were eye-to-eye. “Why?”
Taking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, more than happy to meet my glare, he said, “The courtyard, I can consider. Family visits, absolutely not. Little hybrid girls have gone missing on those outings to visit their mothers, regardless of armed guards. Some were taken by suitors, but the majority we recovered were taken by humans. Many children have never been found. Human males consider our kind exotic and desire us for taboo sexual pleasure. So yes, I prevented you from going into the city when you were too little to defend yourself. We can debate the finer details if you like, but I do not regret a single decision I made in the keeping of my vulnerable mate. And I will not allow other little girls to come to harm if I can prevent it.”
I would not let myself understand what he said, but my lip shook. “Why would they take little girls?”
His eyes shone, the man urging, “Please do not make me explain that to you. Just know it is a horrible thing.”
When he looked at me with such compassion, I felt foolishly idealistic. Naïve and stupid. I didn’t like being pitied, even less than I liked being ignorant through no fault of my own. “What… What if the mothers come to them?”
The backs of his fingers traced down the tender flesh of my throat, my collarbones explored. “Do you think they actually will? Women who raised themselves up by sacrificing a child on the altar of the academy? Trudging down to the lower reaches where the fog is still thick and the streets are unclean? How many broken hearts will that lead to when Mommy doesn’t show up? I would rather they hate me and have hope, than know how ugly the human world is when they are still so young.”
“You’re assuming every mother is bad.”
He could make his cruelty sound so reasonable. “My beloved Lorieyn, I am sorry your mother will never deserve you. But is it not better that you learned the hard truth as an adult with your mate there to ground you, and not when you were little, scared, and alone? I have the data to support my stance, and it does not favor your wonderful idealism. Humans are self-centered, self-indulgent, and self-destructive creatures. There is a reason their planet is uninhabitable. Imagine what they would have done to this one, if not for the fog and the vorec.”
Morning and night at the academy, I had been ordered to recite a pledge to protect humans. I had been taught their appreciation for our sacrifice was sacred. I had been lied to so I wouldn’t put myself in danger. A slave, he said, who would die for humans without question. “If the children can’t have mothers, then they should have mentors who can be there for them in the same way. Nice adults who will cuddle them when they get back from a hard day of being repeatedly beaten. Who will listen to them when they feel unheard? Who can advocate for them when instructors come down too hard? Better yet, when the humans give them up, why don’t we hybrids take them and raise them and teach them at home? Don’t try to tell me that a five-year-old has to have her bones repeatedly broken in a boot camp just to learn how to hold a sword. Pinky fingers mend in an hour, but it fucking hurts and is unnecessary.”
Cyderial made his point again. “You could set a positive example teaching basic swordsmanship to the youngest.”
That served his expectations but not mine. Impassioned to take him on, I argued, “You are a general and can assign me to the academy, but let’s not pretend you would do so to benefit the children. You want me away from the city and under your thumb. Away from the fog.”
As if he were the epitome of reason, he said, “The academy is the safest place on this planet for you. That is nonnegotiable. I am your mate and your general, and you will do as I command in this. Rule me as you will in all other ways. When we are alone, I am your slave. You will find I am open to considering your ideas. But you will also find that age and experience have offered me perspective you cannot ignore.”
My ultimate goal was not unreasonable. “I want the children to be able to feel safe. Let them play. Ease up on the rules about contraband. Keep boys and girls together, at least until a reasonable age. Explain to them why they are being separated; you don’t have to give details. Children are smart enough to understand adults know best when you treat them with respect. No more public executions.” As if I had any power to force his hand, I blurted out, “If you execute another child, I will run away and suffer heat until I die.”
Rising to his feet, towering over me, Cyderial glared down with every ounce of menace he might possess. “Do not threaten me, Lorieyn. Not with that.”
“All I am asking is that you no longer murder children. I will stay with you forever, if you promise me another recruit will not be hanged.” I would even get on my knees and suck his cock dry if that’s what it took.
So I did, slipping from the chair, hands to his thighs. I looked up and begged with my eyes.
He was not moved. “You will stay with me regardless.”
My hand went to the drawstring of those pants, making quick work of the knot.
“Stop.” He caught my fumbling fingers, pressing my wrists together to hold my touch away from his pulsating dick.
Flushed and struggling against his grip, I snarled, “Why? What point is there in being mated to my enemy, if I cannot leverage my position to help little kids?”
“I’m not your enemy, Lorieyn.”
His grasp assured I stayed on my knees before him, staring up, beseeching Cyderial for an answer. “On many levels, you are! I will admit there may be more to you than our ten-year history, but it will not vanish just because you want it to. It’s been a handful of very confusing days full of warnings and ugly examples. My mother doesn’t love me. Humans consider me a slave. Nothing in the city is safe. Children have to suffer.” Growing upset, I demanded an answer. “Why? Why is all of it this way?”
My wrists were parted, each of my hands caught and held. Dark, fearsome, he said, “Think hard before you answer. Do you want me to start a war for you? These things you demand can only be provided if humans are removed from power.”
He wasn’t joking.
Shaking my head, frightened, I surrendered. “You know I’m not equipped to answer that. I know nothing about this world except what you have deigned to teach me! And let’s be honest—over the years, you haven’t proved to be a reliable source. You ask me to trust you, when the life you’ve made me live has been a lie!”
“Remember this. And should the day come that you want the president’s head on a platter, I will give it to you, so long as you understand the consequences. And when it is done, you will give me a home and fill it with children who will never have to go to an academy.”
This was more than longing. Cyderial wanted me to unleash him on the city. He wanted me to have all the things I begged for. As my mate, he would give them to me… at the price of many lives.
Human and hybrid.
That was not a power I was comfortable wielding.
“If you can be patient, young one, everything you desire, you will have in time. But I cannot give it to you now, not without blood running in the streets.” Raising me from the floor, Cyderial signaled that the conversation was at an end. “Tomorrow, you will come with me to the academy. We will walk through your ideas, and I will be open to reasonable negotiations should there be room and safety at such concessions. That does not mean you will have your way in most things. Change will happen more slowly than you would prefer, and we will argue a great deal about it over the years; I am sure. Advocate—the children need you, but understand humans will kill them all if recruits cannot serve. They will kill them if they grow complacent and their test scores are too low. They will kill them for unexpected deformities. They will kill them for speaking out. They will kill them for sport. It is our duty to ensure they can survive.”
