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Cedara
My bare feet have left imprints on the dusty concrete floor of my cell. The chill seeps into my bones, but it’s a welcome distraction from the agony inside me. How could I have done such monstrous things? The flashes of memory haunt me, horrifying glimpses of a savage beast I can’t control.
The clang of the heavy door makes me jump, and I whirl around to see Barrett bursting in. His eyes are blazing.
“What the hell is going on, Cedara?” he demands, stalking toward the bars separating us. “You need to talk to me.”
“Why…why did you come here?” I mumble.
“Why do you think? To talk some sense into you!” He’s so furious.
I shrink back, wrapping my arms around myself. “I can’t…I can’t do this to you, Barrett.” My voice cracks with the strain of holding back my emotions.
His brow furrows, his gaze boring into me. “Do what? Be my mate? That’s not your choice to make for me. I get to choose who I will be with. And I choose you!”
I shake my head. “Don’t you see?” I plead, desperation tightening my throat till my voice comes out strangled. “I’m a monster. I can’t control…this thing inside me. I could hurt you…or worse.”
Barrett tosses his head fiercely. “You’re not a monster. You’re my mate, my other half. We’re destined to be together.”
“How can you say that?” I whisper, tears spilling down my cheeks. “After what I’ve done…”
In an instant, he’s pressed against the bars, his face mere inches from mine. “I worship you, Cedara. Every single part of you. The beast, the woman, the incredible force of your spirit. Nothing will ever change that.”
His words cut straight through to my soul.
He can’t mean that.
How could he truly accept all of me? Even the darkest corners I can’t face myself?
“But you don’t know—”
“Actually, I do know!” He’s still forceful. “I just spent the last couple of hours digging around out there. You didn’t do anything to be ashamed of.”
“I hurt someone, dammit!” I half-shout the words. “I saw myself tearing into flesh, Barrett…and I liked it!”
“That’s because the person you hurt deserved it.”
“Nobody deserves what I did.”
“Maybe when it’s Leadmills trash, they do.”
“Leadmills trash? What are you talking about?” I’m bewildered.
He reaches through the bars and takes my hand. “You’re right, beautiful; you did attack someone out there. But it wasn’t an innocent human or one of us. You got hold of a Leadmills fucker…and from the amount of blood we saw out there, you did a pretty good job of it.”
“I don’t understand.” I start to slump but hold myself firm. Exhaustion is starting to weigh me down.
“I can’t be sure of the actual details, but my guess would be that you went out there for some reason and stumbled across a Leadmills killing. You tried to stop them. I can’t imagine another reason why you’d get involved. You were trying to save someone, Cedara. You were fighting the killer off.”
I stare at him. “I was?”
His shoulder hike, then drop. “Only thing I can imagine it would be. I just wish I knew why you went out there in the first place. Put yourself in danger like that after we…” His eyes lock with mine, speaking volumes.
“Mother Moon,” I exhale the words.
“What?”
“I went to find the moon… to tell her about us. How happy I was.” I remember the joy of the moment.
