AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t really mind it, since I actually like who I am. But sometimes I just wish that my parents would stop treating me as if they’re afraid that my mind will break completely if they say or do the wrong thing.
“Will you be alright, though?” Rico suddenly asks, drawing my attention back to the conversation at hand.
Since I had tuned them out and missed that part of the conversation, I just raise my eyebrows in a nonchalant expression.
“At Blackwater?” Rico clarifies. “Will you be okay in the war against the Petrovs? If I drop out, you’re down to two while there are four of them.”
Five, I correct in my head. There are five of them. People always seem to overlook Alina, not counting her as a threat. I think that’s a gigantic fucking mistake. She is the most dangerous person I have ever met. Because she has somehow managed to get inside my head.
“We’ll be fine,” I answer with a casual shrug.
“Are you sure? Because—”
“I have leverage,” I interrupt.
At that, everyone raises their eyebrows at me. Eli shoots me an approving smirk from next to me while Jace narrows his eyes in suspicion.
“What kind of leverage?” Rico asks.
“The kind that would make them back off if I used it against them.”
I keep my answer deliberately vague so that they won’t find out that it’s the video of Mikhail from weeks ago. Because if Jace finds out that I am in fact already using my only leverage in order to protect him, he would become insufferable. It’s better if he doesn’t know about my deal with the Petrovs to make him and Rico untouchable.
At the head of the table, Jonathan chuckles. “That’s my boy.”
Turning, I give him a smile and a nod.
But I feel nothing.
Logically, I know that I should love my parents. Everyone with parents who are, all things considered, as decent as mine, should love their mom and dad. But I don’t.
I don’t hate them either. And I would of course protect them if someone tried to hurt them or kill them. They’re my blood, after all.
But I just don’t feel anything for them.
When I was younger, I thought that it was because I was incapable of caring about anyone. But I realized quickly that that wasn’t true.
It’s true that I don’t love my parents, and I don’t care at all about other random people in the world.
The only people that I love are my brothers.
And the sheer magnitude of just how much I love them terrifies me.
I would die for them.
I would slaughter entire cities to protect them.
I would wade through rivers of blood and burn this whole world to the ground if it meant keeping them safe.
Just feeling like that about Eli, Rico, and Jace is terrifying enough.
And now, I’ve started to have these flickers of emotion about Alina as well. I got angry that her classmates had pranked her and stolen her clothes. And I gave her my own shirt because I couldn’t stand the thought of her walking naked across campus for everyone to see.
It’s absurd.
I don’t care about Alina.
Caring about my brothers is all the emotional strain that I can bear. Because once again… I. Don’t. Do. Feelings.
