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I don’t know how you got my number but you need to know that I’m not interested. Thanks for the offer and all, but I’m with someone
No number
I understand. But when you’re done with him, text me. I know we’d be good together
I stare at the message and my heart thuds in my chest. It feels disloyal to Alistair, even though I haven’t done anything wrong.
Me
That won’t be happening. You see, you don’t know me, but the man I’m with? I’m in love with him. He has no idea, no clue, and while that’s sad to admit, I still have to say it out loud. I was never an escort. I’m not on the market now, nor will I be in the future. So delete my number and consider yourself blocked.
I do just that after the second the text is sent, feeling relief flood through me. God, some guys are just complete creeps. I should complain to Élégance, or at least tell Neve about it.
Everything I said to that complete stranger is true. I can’t tell my friends. I can’t even tell Alistair. But I have to admit it to myself; I’m irrevocably in love with him, and there’s not a darned thing I can do about it.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Alistair
The rest of the day passes in a blur. I have such a good time with Charlize that I forget about everything else going on in my life. To anyone watching, we’re just another couple. Wandering hand-in-hand through the laneways of little shops and eateries. We visit a winery and I buy a case of the vanilla infused sparkling wine Charlize liked.
I can’t stop thinking about what she told me about her grandmother. I knew the old hag was crazy, but a fucking child abuser? My blood boils.
I can’t relax for the rest of the day. Guilt floods through me and I’m in a bad mood driving home. Charlize prattles on about this and that while I listen, still holding her hand, but I’m not really taking any of it in. I’m stewing. I’ve so much to tell her, to get off my chest, and I can’t. I can’t because I created this ridiculous thing that I now can’t get out of. Still no word from Devon and I’ve no idea if she’s going to text him back. I should feel relieved.
I should feel like all my lucky stars have come at once because she doesn’t want anyone else; she wants me. But I don’t really know if that’s true. I can’t let her in.
The idea that she’s just after my money makes me feel like that insecure young man I once was. I still enjoy the idea of her spending money on herself, but because she loves me, not because she wants my money. Why does that even matter to me?
It didn’t matter in the beginning. Now it’s all that consumes me. I’m also too chicken shit to admit that I feel things for her; things that I shouldn’t. Things that I’ve never said to anyone.
I don’t know when we crossed over the lines of our agreement, to lovers, to falling in love. But I’m in love with her. I can see a future with her — something I’ve never been able to do with any other woman. It’s like we waited all these years to find each other once again, but then the nagging questions still remain and if I feel worthy and good enough for her love.
I’m stoking the fire when I received Devon’s text.
When I read it, my heart sinks.
Devon
Well, looks like you were right, bro. She took the bait.
My eyes narrow on the message.
She’s talking away to me in the other room, asking what I might like for dinner or if we should go out.
I click my phone shut and take a deep breath.
She took him up on his offer? She really did it?
She walks into the room, carrying a cup of tea for both of us. When she sees my face, she stops in her tracks. “Alistair? What's wrong?”
I shake my head and start to pace. My phone beeps again and I pick it up and throw it against the stone wall. It smashes into a million pieces and she jumps in fright, spilling the tea. “Why don’t you tell me?”
She sets the cups down and wipes her hands down her jeans. “What are you talking about?”
I’m wild with rage.
What an idiot. I thought she loved me, and all she’s really after is her next meal ticket. Just like all the rest. Even if I am part to blame, I never expected to feel this way.
