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In those dark, grey eyes that seem to be able to see right into my soul. Of course, I know that’s impossible, but he has this intenseness about him that can’t be mistaken.
We haven’t even gotten to the entrees yet and I feel as if the shocks are only just beginning.
Chapter Twelve
Alistair
When the waiter moves away, we’re left alone once more.
This could be the second worst conversation I’ve ever had in my life — the first being right after Charlize had her lips wrapped around my dick. I don’t think anything could quite capture that kind of awkwardness ever again.
“So how did you and Mum meet?” Charlize looks down at the table and I wish she wouldn’t.
This isn’t the strong woman I remember from the other night. Or when she snooped around my home, stealing the jumper she’s now wearing.
“We knew each other from university.” I feel the lump forming in my throat. “We got to talking one day and she told me about your grandmother and how she put sanctions on her inheritance, using you as an excuse.”
“Me?” She points to her chest.
“Yes. Stating that the funds should be held for your university tuition, and since your mother couldn’t fight her way out of a paper bag — much less argue with your grandmother — she let her win. Until she came up with a plan.”
“One that involved a fake marriage to a wealthy man?”
“Something like that. I honestly thought it would bring the two of you closer, it’s one of the reasons that I agreed. I knew you’d been from pillar to post, between London and Australia, for years. I thought it would be a more stable life for you at that vulnerable age.”
She stares at me. “I never knew you cared so much.”
I clear my throat. “I was appalled when she insisted you stay at boarding school. Personally, I hated Eaton when I was there. I knew we weren’t a real family, and I wasn’t pretending to be anything less. I’m deeply sorry, Charlize, for any part I had in making you feel more isolated.”
She swallows hard, her eyes glazing over. I’m such an asshole.
“It’s fine.” Her voice wavers just slightly. “You thought it would bring me and my mother closer, but all it did was drive us further apart. She couldn’t wait to ship me off to an all-girl’s school. She told me I should feel privileged, as she never had the opportunity for such a fine education — all of which I now know is a lie.”
“I truly think that she believed she was doing the right thing by you.”
“By running off with her lesbian lover to Ibiza? That’s where she was before she…”
I feel like such an ass. I never should have brought this up. Charlize may have not gotten along with any of the women in her family, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still hurtful.
“No, Charlize. By giving you an education of the highest calibre. Buying you things was her way of showing that she did care about you, even if she didn’t know how to show it.”
Her eyes are frosty when they meet mine. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, I’m a big girl now. I can take the knocks. I know that my entire existence was an inconvenience to her, and to my grandmother. I get it.”
“That isn’t true. Your grandmother was set in her ways. She couldn’t see past her own nose.”
“And what’s my mum’s excuse? Oh, right. A by-product of a loveless upbringing with too much expectation. Come on, Alistair. You can only use that excuse for so long.”
I shake my head. “She cared deep down. I promise you that.”
“Yet you fought over my education? She didn’t relent, that says a lot.”
“We fought because I didn’t believe that you should be in boarding school, yes. She reminded me that our marriage was contractual and to keep my nose out of her business. She was a headstrong woman, something I can see in you, too. She thought she was doing the right thing.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please don’t compare me to that woman. I barely knew her.”
I don’t want to make this more painful for Charlize, in fact that’s the last thing I want. But I truly believe that Abigail was just misunderstood.
“Do you remember at the funeral? When your grandmother made a scene?”
