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“Oh lady,” she tells me when she drops her bag over the doorknob of one of my closets and rushes to my couch. “Let me tell you about my date last night.”
“Good?”
“Awful.”
“Oh, here we go. Another story of the swipe left files.” I grab a bottle of ten-dollar wine – our favorite – and bring two oversized glasses to the living room.
“Kay. His name was Jim – and I say was on purpose, cause he’s dead to me.” She lifts her glass to cheers me. “The dude picks me up at my apartment and asks if he could use my bathroom.”
I cover my mouth, expecting a horrible ‘number two’ story or something.
“Yeah,” Stacey eggs me. “He doesn’t come out for ten whole minutes, so I eventually knock on the door to ask if he’s okay. He bursts open the door butt-ass naked and puts his fists to his hips like superman.”
“Shut the hell up!” I laugh.
“And let me tell you, he was not superman.”
“He did the ‘Naked Man’ from How I Met Your Mother!” I immediately feel lighter hearing about this.
“Yeah, great, but it does not work two out of three times. Not with that guy. I slammed that door shut and considered throwing a match to the whole bathroom.”
I burst out laughing. “How—how did you get him out?”
“So… my neighbor left me a leaf blower.”
“Shut up.”
“Yeah, I plugged it in and blasted him until he ran down the stairs never to be seen again.”
We’re both cracking up at the ridiculousness of it, and I’m so happy I invited her over. After Marco and Castor nearly killing one another, twice, and my brother planting seeds of ruin in my brain, I needed this. But eventually, this question comes.
“So when are you going to hook me up with a real man. Speaking of, how are you and the gold jockey? King Castor, baby.”
I frown.
“Uh oh.” Stacey grimaces. “Did something happen?”
“Between him and I? Nothing bad, no. He said he loved me.”
“What? Oh my… King Castor said I love you?”
I turn away coyly, using my oversized wine glass to cover my face. “He did.”
“Tell me you didn’t say it back. Wait. Do you not feel the same?”
“I do feel the same, and I did say it back.”
“That frown still isn’t making sense, Gia.” She puts her glass down and leans over to shake my shoulders. “Make it make sense.”
“My brother.”
“Ugh, that fucking guy.”
“Yeah. He found out about us, and it was just about as bad as you can imagine. Gunshots, car chase, heavy threats.”
“No one got… got, right?”
I shake my head. “No, no. Just a lot of… dick swinging madness.”
