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What if you run into someone and have a panic attack?
What if they try to touch you?
A cold sweat broke out across her forehead. She wiped at her damp brow with a frustrated sigh.
How many times had Harper and Brenna promised her she was safe here? Too many to count. Over and over, they’d reassured her the men in the Hell’s Handlers Motorcycle Club would rather die than harm an innocent woman in general and her in particular.
Still, the fear persisted.
But maybe it was a little less. Maybe her boredom and curiosity had grown stronger than the fear.
No, but if she didn’t get out, she’d go crazy from inactivity as well as the traumas she’d suffered. Lord knew the last thing she needed was another reason to slide toward insanity.
Kelsie, I promise you are not crazy. Your brain is trying to protect itself from more pain. That’s why you react negatively around men right now.
Harper’s sweet voice rang out in her head.
“It’s called dark humor,” Kelsie muttered. “And it helps me cope.” She glanced out the window at the dark sky. It was a beautiful evening.
“And now I’m talking to myself. Another check in the crazy column.” She rolled her eyes. “I need to get out of here.”
Before she could talk herself out of it or enter another round of rationalization, she stood and walked into her room. After grabbing a light sweatshirt and shoving her feet into a pair of ratty old sneakers, she headed outside.
The warm, humid night air wrapped around her like a comforting hug. Many visitors to Florida cringed at the thick, wet air, but Kelsie had never minded it. Growing up in Alabama, she’d experienced southern living for her entire life. Humidity and heat were familiar friends. When she’d visited the West Coast as a kid, the dry air left her skin feeling dehydrated and itchy.
Floodlights glowed from the clubhouse even though the parking area out front only had one or two motorcycles, far fewer than normal. They cast a glow across the farm, providing enough light for her to see.
She’d have expected to be fearful walking the dark, vast land, but she felt a surprising sense of calm and ease. One she might as well take advantage of.
Directly behind the clubhouse was a small, wooded area. It was unique for farmland, but Brooke had explained it had been purposely designed that way and gave the clubhouse a cozy feel and some privacy from the rest of the MC’s property. She veered straight for it. Looking up at the stars through the tree coverage sounded magical.
At her slow pace, she reached the wooded area in about five minutes. Her feet crunched over fallen leaves and twigs as she wove between the trees. She stopped walking and then glanced up. Between tall branches of trees she’d never be able to identify, stars twinkled in a celestial game of peek-a-boo.
Kelsie smiled. A sense of peace washed over her that she hadn’t experienced in months, maybe years, since she was a young girl and innocent of the world’s cruelty.
Of her family’s.
The night sky had always soothed her, and living in a city, she’d missed the beauty of the stars. Once upon a time, she’d considered studying astronomy, but that dream had long since expired.
Now, she only wished to survive each day without more pain and suffering.
And without being dragged back into her family’s toxic web of lies and drama.
Time passed, but Kelsie paid it no mind. She stood there, shrouded by trees and the beauty of the universe, until her legs ached and begged her to move.
Kelsie smiled.
Damn, she felt good. Not just good in comparison to the misery of days before, but actually good. Maybe even a little happy.
She inhaled a deep pull of night air. Instead of freshness, an acrid tinge of smoke tickled her senses.
Kelsie’s heart shot into overdrive as she sniffed the air again. Without a doubt, something was on fire.
The clubhouse!
She tromped through the woods without finesse, stumbling over roots and catching her sweatshirt on branches as she raced toward the smell.
The flicker of light through the trees caught her attention at the same time as a man’s angry voice shouted out.
