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Her lips quirked up. “Hey. You think we could talk?”
Ethan moved to stand, and Jack stopped him.
“Take a walk?” Jack asked as he jumped to his feet.
He’d been lethargic and heavy-hearted seconds ago. Just seeing her made him happy.
“Sure.”
He jogged down the steps, reached the ground, and shoved his hand in his pockets. “Uh, so, how have you been?”
She toyed with her fingers as they walked. “I’ve been okay. I opened up the rest of the house and started cleaning and painting it. Did you get that plumbing thing fixed?”
“Yeah, finished it yesterday.”
They walked a little longer, awkward silence filling the space between them. The comfortable, easy relationship they’d previously had felt strained and weird now.
“I’m sorry I didn’t stop by the house today,” he said.
She glanced at him. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you. I haven’t exactly been all that welcoming.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I kind of got the impression that you were avoiding me.”
Pulling him to a stop, she caught his gaze. “I was, and I’m sorry I did that. That kiss…”
“Was amazing.”
“The best kiss I’ve ever had. It made things so confusing.” She sagged a little. “Jack, I think you are incredible, I have thought that since high school. Crush, remember?” She softly laughed.
He joined her, laughing. A piece of information that he’d never forget. “I remember.”
“You are sweet and kind and wonderful and… I like you. I like you a whole lot. I would never be able to forgive myself if I hurt you. And that’s what I’m afraid of doing, hurting you. I can’t move back here, Jack, and once I leave, I’ll be traveling extensively for the next nine months. Even if…” She stopped short. “I don’t have time for a relationship, and?—”
Even if… He couldn’t stop himself from wondering how she’d really wanted to finish that sentence. “Back up a sentence, even if what?”
Rolling her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve spent years at the magazine, and I know that Delia will give me a shot soon. I’m paying my dues like every other peon out there.”
Jack tilted his head. “Did you say she keeps dangling that carrot and ripping it away? How can you trust her?”
“Because…” she raked her hand through her hair. “Because I just do. I know her, and I know how things work.”
“Right.” He replayed his conversation with Ethan. He was wrong. It didn’t matter what Jack did, Jo was leaving. The only thing he’d get for trying was a broken heart, which, based on how he was currently feeling, wasn’t far off.
Another thought occurred to him. He liked her, they’d kissed, and he thought things were mutual between them, but what if they weren’t? What if what she was really doing was letting him down easy? He wasn’t the town hero anymore. He was just a dude with a mostly okay hip. Sure, she’d said his worth wasn’t dependent on his football career, but he thought his ex felt the same way before she dumped him.
Forcing himself to agree, he replied, “It’s okay. I’ve been doing some thinking, too. I like you a lot, too, but I’m just not ready for a commitment right now.” He lied. “Ethan getting married messed with my head. I do want a family, just not right now.”
It was quick, but sadness flashed across her features. He had to imagine it because she was the one telling him she didn’t want a relationship. Why would she say that and get upset when he basically told her the same thing?
“That’s… that’s great then. We’re on the same page.” She smiled, but it felt flat, lifeless. Forced.
“We are. That kiss was great, but I don’t think we should do that again. It blurs boundaries that I think need to be crystal clear.”
Man, the whole thing was a lie, and the more he lied, the more he realized he wanted so much more, and not just with anyone, with her. But what else could he say? Beg her to stay? That wouldn’t be fair to her. Even if she decided to stay, how long would it be before she resented him for it? He didn’t want that.
“Right. I agree.” She took a step back and stretched out her hand. “Shake on it?”
He shook her hand, forcing himself to ignore the zaps of electricity pinging around his chest. “Deal.”
