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“It wasn’t just the really great sex. I know what it is. God, I’m such an idiot.”
“What is it?” I asked. I slathered on my face lotion and then walked out of the bathroom to get dressed.
“It’s the fact that he’s completely unavailable. Like, completely unavailable. And I thought…”
“You thought you were the exception, not the rule.”
She followed me into the bedroom and flopped down onto my bed.
“Are you sure he doesn’t feel the same way about you?” I asked.
“Like I’d even admit it to him so I can find out if he feels the same. So he can call me Cling-on Barbie or something? No thanks.”
“Maybe he has feelings for you, too,” I said gently.
“He doesn’t,” she insisted. “I know he doesn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“The same way I knew Eden Swinton was hooking up with the married varsity coach when we were seniors. I just knew.” She rubbed her forehead. “So instead of hanging out with him and falling even more for the wounded bird I want to fix, I lied and said I was hanging out with you.”
“I don’t get you,” I said from the confines of my walk-in closet.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re fully in support of me opening up to Bones. To letting him in. But you won’t do the same thing with Savage?”
“There’s one major difference between Bones and Savage.”
“Which is?”
“Savage isn’t capable of falling in love. Bones is.”
“You thought you yourself were incapable of falling in love,” I pointed out. “And now you’re clearly going down that road.”
“I never said I was incapable. I just purposely avoid it. There’s a difference. I know I can fall in love. I just didn’t expect it to actually happen. Not like this. Damn it.”
I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed one of my favorite sweaters.
“So, girls’ wallowing night tonight?” she asked.
“Ah, I have plans.”
“Cancel on Bones. Chicks before dicks. Hoes before bros.”
“It’s not with Bones,” I admitted. “I was invited to Sutton’s bachelorette party.”
“The Old Lady who’s getting married?”
“Yes.”
“Well, isn’t that an interesting turn of events. The Old Ladies inviting you to the bachelorette party is them bringing you into the fold.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m going to be late.”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I wouldn’t want to talk about it either. Not if my whole life was about to change and I wasn’t ready for it.”
“Are you ever ready for something like that?” I asked quietly. “My entire life changed three years ago and it’s never felt…you can’t go back. No matter how much you want to. I’d give anything to go back to before. But I can’t. And living in the past, wishing reality was different…I’ve wasted enough time wishing for something that can never be.”
