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“You already did,” I blubbered.
He tightened his arms around me and dropped his chin to rest on top of my head.
“The last three years…it’s all been bottled up with nowhere to go. You—released it. And now I’m crying all over you and I can’t put it away and hide, which is all I want to do because if I don’t, then you’re going to think I’m an emotional mess who can’t get it together.”
“I think you’ve been carrying the weight of grief for a long time. And you’ve done it alone. Your mom hasn’t been there for you. Not the way you needed her to be. And even though Charlie has tried, her world kept turning even when yours came to a grinding halt. Tonight, with me, you started living again.”
“I’m in over my head, here.” I sniffed. “I’ve never?—”
“Felt this way about another person before,” he finished for me. “I get it. It’s fast. And it feels like you’re on a freight train barreling toward a ravine on an unfinished bridge.”
I looked up at him, my lips quivering. “I was going to say I’ve never come that hard.”
He was silent for a moment. “I’m trying not to pound my chest like a Cro-Magnon right now.”
“How’s that working for you?” I teased.
“It’s against every bit of my instinct, but I’m reining it in.”
“Okay, seriously. What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m going to need a bit more clarification on that.” He released me and then pressed my hip to get me to move. He then poured the boiling water into my waiting mug.
“You just walk in on me crying and freaking out and all you do is hold me and tease me and make me feel better.”
“Am I supposed to make you feel worse?” He looked at me in confusion.
“No, but…”
“But what?”
“My ex. He wasn’t good at stuff like this.”
“Your ex sounds like a douche.”
I blinked. “Yeah, he kinda was.”
“What would he have done if he’d walked in on you crying?”
“Gotten really uncomfortable and pretended it wasn’t happening. He broke up with me two weeks after my father’s funeral. He said it was too much and he couldn’t handle it.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“Nope. But I mean, he was twenty-three. Who can blame him?”
“He broke up with you when you needed him the most and now you’re surprised when I do anything remotely sweet.”
“I just wanted some tea and to cry in private,” I joked. “Not a late-night therapy session.”
He grasped my waist and hoisted me up onto the island counter.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He urged me to lift up so he could slide my pajama shorts and panties down. “I know something better than tea at helping you sleep.”
Chapter 29
“I could spend all day inside you.” Bones took my lips in a ravenous kiss as he thrust into me.
