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“I try not to,” she stated. “He’s not good for me. It doesn’t matter that I was finally able to feel something for someone after years of not wanting that, but Savage is chocolate cake.”
“First he’s a drug, now he’s chocolate cake?”
“Chocolate cake isn’t bad for you in small quantities,” she said. “Every once in a while. But he’s the human equivalent of a chocolate cake that you eat in its entirety in the middle of the night in a single sitting.”
“Oh, I see.” I nodded. “Poor Savage. I feel for him, actually.”
“Poor Savage? You mean poor Charlie…”
“No, I mean poor Savage. Charlie has someone in her life who is sticking around. Savage is still Savage. He’s alone.”
“And that, right there, was why I had to walk away and ghost him. No matter how much I hoped he’d come around and want something real, he didn’t. He can’t, I don’t think.”
“You still heartbroken over him?”
“A little,” she admitted. “But it was such a foreign feeling. He slipped through my defenses effortlessly. I’m not even sure how he did it.”
“That’s the kicker, isn’t it?” I asked, thinking about Bones and how he’d done the same thing with me. Only he’d wanted to stick around and build a life with me.
“It’s his loss, you know. Savage’s, I mean.”
She shook her head. “I don’t see it that way. Mostly, I’m just kind of sad for him. Have you ever been with someone who’s sitting right in front of you, but they’re a million miles away? They’re trapped in their own head, their own memories, and they don’t even care to clue you in? No one deserves to be in a partnership like that. I’m not even sure if Savage knows how to be by himself, much less with someone else.”
“Probably why he fills his time with booze and different women.”
She chewed her lip. “And fighting.”
“What?” I frowned. “Fighting who?”
“This has to stay between us,” she said. “Marriage code or not. You can’t tell Bones this.”
“All right, I swear on our history. What are you talking about?”
“Savage came to me one night in the middle of the night. He was busted up. Split lip, black eye. His body was nothing but bruises. I refused to let him cross the threshold of the pool house. I told him I didn’t want trouble brought to my doorstep.”
“Smart,” I said. “So, you turned him away?”
“No.” She sighed. “He said he had nowhere else to go. And that tugged on my stupid heart and I let him in.”
“He couldn’t go to the clubhouse?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I got him inside and doctored him as best I could. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but he said no.”
“So where was he?” I demanded.
“He said he’d been in a fight. Only it wasn’t like, a bar brawl or whatever. He said it was an illegal fight. Underground.”
“Stop it.”
She shook her head. “He swore me to secrecy. And that’s when I ghosted him. I wasn’t going to be a part of whatever he was into.”
“An illegal fight? Why?”
“Hell if I know. But he clearly didn’t want the club to know about it, which means the club wouldn’t approve.” Charlie’s expression became pinched. “The bastard used my feelings against me. He knew I would keep his secret because I was in love with him.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I’m a grown woman. I chose to get on the back of his bike. I chose to continue seeking him out for that damn dopamine hit that only a bad boy can give you.” She sighed. “Anyway, thanks for not telling Bones. I’m sure it wouldn’t be good for Savage.”
