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She makes a little noise, half laugh, half tobacco. “Yes. The officer gave me a card for you, but I wouldn’t hold out much hope. The thief didn’t take anything other than a hairbrush.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, nearly fumbling Flower, because honestly, what the fuck?
“A hairbrush,” she says with a tight nod. “The little girl’s, I’m guessing, unless you’re one of those Disney adults.”
“God forbid,” Nicole says with a theatrical shudder.
“This is awful,” I say, anxiety prickling at me. “Was it some kind of weirdo pervert who’s after Izzy?”
“Or maybe the perp grabbed the first thing they saw to take a swing at the dog,” Nicole says. “Either way, it’s obvious they arranged for a distraction so no one would be at the apartment. That means at least two people are involved.”
With the theft of a hairbrush?
Turning to my neighbor, Nicole says, “Can we come in and ask you a few questions?”
Mrs. Longhorn looks like she orgasmed for the first time in a decade, and I feel a rush of guilt. All she wanted was to feel important, like her opinion and observations matter. I understand that, and yet I’ve done my best to avoid her.
“Yes,” she says, “come in, come in. And Ruthie, you can put the dog down once you’re in here. I don’t mind her none.”
Wonders never cease. But I hold on to Flower, because I need to hold on to something. If someone’s after Izzy…
I’ll cut off their balls, obviously, but even so…
We settle onto Mrs. Longhorn’s couch, a velvet upholstered piece with clawed feet, in front of a long coffee table. For a woman who always seems to have a cigarette, her home doesn’t smell of smoke, so it must be a habit she relegates to the great outdoors.
“I have tea,” she says, her voice harsh. “Bourbon.”
“Oh, that’s fun,” Nicole says. “My friend here will take some of that. She needs to loosen up. You can hold the tea. But I’m good. I’ve got an emergency flask.”
I give her a sidelong glance, and when Mrs. Longhorn disappears into the kitchen, I ask in an undertone, “Are you sure I should drink it? What if she’s, like…”
“What if she’s the woman who broke into your apartment, fucked up your van, and stole your child’s hairbrush?” Nicole scratches her head, her eyes roaming. “It would make for an interesting twist, but I don’t think it’s likely. Besides, you don’t have to drink it. I was just hoping to get a look at the room without her noticing. Seems pretty standard old lady stuff, though.” She smirks at a little pile of doilies arranged on the side table by the door.
Mrs. Longhorn comes back with a serving tray that has two glasses on it, each filled with a couple of inches of bourbon. She sets it on the coffee table, then slugs back one of them before pushing the other toward me.
I finally set Flower down and pick the cup up, but I don’t drink the contents. Maybe she didn’t poison me, but I’m on edge. Other than myself, the only person I trust in this room is Flower.
“So,” Nicole says slowly, her gaze settling on my neighbor. “This pervert was a man?”
Mrs. Longhorn nods. “I’d never seen him before. An individual was lingering outside Ruthie’s door a few days ago with an Amazon package, but it wasn’t the same man.”
“Was the Amazon guy out there long enough for him to take photos?” Nicole asks. “And did he have anything around his face?”
“A hat pulled low,” Mrs. Longhorn says. “And I suppose he would’ve had time to take photos. He was as slow as molasses in January.”
“Could’ve been an Amazon guy, could’ve been the perv’s friend,” Nicole says. “I feel you. And you said the little dog seemed to have gotten in a few bites?”
“Yes,” says Mrs. Longhorn. “I was…indisposed when I first heard noise across the way.”
“Indisposed how?” Nicole asks. “It may be important to the case.”
Or to her curiosity, but I’m curious too, so I don’t say so.
“If you must know, I ate too many prunes.” Mrs. Longhorn snaps. “When I finally got to the door, the man was running out, Flower nipping at his leg. There was a hole in his pants, and he was shouting and trying to hit the little dog with the hairbrush.”
Nicole gives me a look. See, it’s only probably a pervert.
Her lips thin. “I went out there immediately, but the scoundrel kicked Flower and ran. I wanted to pursue him. It chapped my hide to give up, but my hip wasn’t up to the task, so I checked on the dog.”
