Page 30 of You're so Vain


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Yes, because I’m getting one for you too.

There I go again, talking to Ruthie in my head.

I adjust my tie and clear my throat just as the over-eager blond guy scurries around the case to approach us.

He steps in close, beaming, and says, “What can I do for you, friends?”

There are a couple of other people browsing, but none of them have the look of men or women who are here against their will and inclination, the way Danny does. He must come off as fresh meat, an easy sale. A man who is only here because the power of true love bit him in the ass.

It’s bright as hell in here, the better to make those gems glitter, and I can already see it getting to Danny. The pop song filtering in over the speakers mounted in every corner probably isn’t helping.

Time to move things along.

I clap my buddy on the back. “My friend here has decided to pop the question to his girl. He needs a ring.”

“Wonderful,” the guy says, beaming. “I’m Michael, and I’m honored to help you find forever.”

I choke on a laugh and glance at Danny, because I already know I'm going to want to frame the look on his face. His brows are lifted, his mouth flat. “I’m looking for a ring for a woman who would laugh at that statement.”

I choke on more laughter, but Michael has been at this a while. He claps his hands as if this is good news and says, “Ah, a ring for a skeptic. My favorite. Why don’t you tell me what she likes, and I’ll put together a board of rings for you.”

“Uh,” Danny messes with the pockets of his jeans, as if he might have stuffed answers in there. “She likes bright and colorful stuff. I’m not really the best judge of what she’d want because I prefer…” He glances around, decides he doesn’t personally like anything in here, and waves a hand to allow Michael to draw his own conclusions.

“Is that enough for you to work with?” I ask. My mind’s whirring though. I’m thinking of what Ruthie would choose for herself if money were no object.

“Of course,” Michael says. “We have something for every taste and budget. I can’t wait to find you the perfect ring for your perfect woman. Make yourselves comfortable, and I’ll put together some options.”

“Yeah,” Danny says, messing with his pockets again. “I’m going to sit down.” There are a couple of chairs arranged against the wall—leather and comfortable-looking, with an antique-looking table between them. They’re probably kept specifically for schmucks who come here to blow their load on a rock.

“Yes, make yourselves comfortable. What can I get for you? Some champagne?” He pauses, then adds, “Scotch, perhaps?”

“Scotch,” I say. “Scotch would be great.”

Danny nods in agreement and heads for the chairs like he’s a Corgi with an ankle in its sights. I start to follow him, then turn toward the attendant. “Hey,” I say in an undertone. “Is there any way we can turn down the music? My friend doesn’t like to advertise it, but he has some sensory sensitivities, and it’s kind of—”

Blaring.

Loud.

Annoying as fuck.

He nods, a flicker of something passing over his face. “You’re doing us all a favor by asking. I’m only allowed to turn it down if someone asks.”

“Thanks, man. And can you pick out a few rings with red stones? It’s her favorite color.”

Ruthie’s favorite, actually, but I’m hoping that won’t come out.

“No problem.”

I head back over to the chairs, guilt burning a hole in my gut even though my mission wasn’t an entirely selfish one. “Ring shopping’s looking up,” I comment. “They’re gonna turn down the crap music.” Might as well tell him. Sometimes he’s sensitive to other people intervening on his behalf, but there’s no way he’s not going to notice the change.

Mira has obviously chilled Danny out, though, because he just nods and says, “I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.”

“Hopefully your forever will be on the first board.”

“Hopefully, because Michael’s… I mean, he’s nice, but he’s really enthusiastic. People can be too enthusiastic.”

His girlfriend and soon-to-be fiancée is one of them, but he doesn’t seem to mind when it comes from her. I guess that’s what being in love does to a man.

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