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There’s some madness driving us tonight. Madness that feels better than sanity. Maybe it’ll ruin everything, but right now I don’t have the ability to think of anything but the feeling of this woman in my arms, of her lips consuming mine, her teeth nipping at me, her body pressing closer like the only thing she needs in this world is my cock.
I know better than to believe it, but maybe I’ll allow myself this one moment of vanity. Because I’ve never wanted someone so much in my life.
My other hand drifts down from her back to her ass, the soft globe fitting perfectly in my hand. It’s round and firm, and I want to explore it for hours. I’ve spent years trying to ignore the way my body reacts to Ruthie, but I haven’t succeeded. I’ve memorized this maddening woman in bits and pieces, a flash of flesh here, a brush of the hand, a scent captured and remembered. All those stolen pieces are coming together now, forming a map that’s still incomplete. I want to complete it—to be an explorer and to form a map so thorough future generations will marvel at my genius, but no one will be allowed to see that map except for me.
It’s a stupid thought, but maybe that’s only appropriate because I’m being stupid. Sudden panic licks through me, because this wasn’t supposed to happen. It was never supposed to happen.
When Danny asks me if I’ve ever touched his sister or intend to touch her, I will no longer be able to honestly tell him no. If he wants to punch me, that’ll be his right. Maybe that’s the real reason I haven’t told him about the marriage yet—because I knew I wanted her. Because I’ve wanted her for a long time.
Then there’s Ruthie herself—she’ll regret this. She already dislikes me the majority of the time, and if we add another layer of complication…
I pull away from her mouth, but I can’t get my hand to leave her hair or her ass. It’s like they’ve been super-glued there.
“I’ve wondered what it would be like,” she says with eyes that glimmer. They remind me of that ruby in her ring, bright and dangerous. That’s why I had to get it for her. It only felt right for her to have a ring that fit her soul.
“To kiss someone you hate?”
“To kiss you.”
“I knew what it would be like,” I admit, my hand moving over her ass, because I’m no longer in control of it. It’s decided that my mind has worse ideas than my dick.
“So why didn’t you do it sooner?” she asks.
“You know why.”
“Because you don’t like me,” she says to my lips.
“Does it feel like I don’t like you, Ruthie?” I ask, placing a kiss on her top lip, her nose.
“You want to fuck me, but that doesn’t mean you like me, Shane. We both know they’re different things.”
“You aggravate the hell out of me,” I say.
“How romantic,” she tells me, her tone sarcastic but playful. Then she gets on her toes and bites the lobe of my ear, sending a shot of electric pain right to where I’m hard for her. I push her ass closer, needing the feeling of her grinding against me again, because I’m so hard I may pass out from blood loss to the other parts of my body.
“You drive me crazy,” I say, my voice shaking. I take my hand from her hair and cup her jaw again. I’m nearly shaking with the need to kiss her. “You make me feel like I want to be crazy.”
She licks her lips slowly and says, “Maybe you should let yourself. Tonight. You know, it’s not a legal marriage if we don’t consummate it.”
She’s not strictly correct, but a lack of consummation would be grounds for divorce or annulment. Then again, we’d always planned on getting divorced.
Still, I don’t correct her. My cock likes the way she’s thinking. My cock has banished all thoughts of Rule Number One and its importance to my sanity.
“You want me to fuck you?” I ask in a rough whisper as she grinds against me again. I claim her mouth before she can answer, wanting to show her how good it’s going to be between us, how hot. This time, she’s the one who pulls away.
“Once,” she says. “Only once.”
“You think once will be enough for us to get it out of our systems?” I ask, lifting my eyebrows. “It won’t be for me,” I admit. “A thousand times wouldn’t be enough. It’s only going to make me want you more.”
She looks stunned for a moment, as if she hasn’t realized the effect she has on me—the effect I’ve been doing my damnedest to ignore.
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” I say, which is half honest, half not. I know that she’s gorgeous in a way that’s painful—with those long muscular legs, her nearly black hair and blue eyes, and the confident way she moves her body. I’m sick of the practiced slickness of my world—of women who move artfully because they know someone’s eyes are on them. Ruthie’s not like that. She’s self-possessed. Sexy. And then there’s her saucy as fuck attitude, always directed my way. I’m used to women trying to impress me, to please me, but Ruthie always presents me with a laundry list of my faults. It makes me want to hear her scream my name…
So, yes, I know why I want to fuck her—anyone would—but I don’t know why I need it. I’ve never let myself need something like that before, and I don’t like it. When you need something, or someone, you lose control. You lose power.
As if she can hear my thoughts, she reaches down and wraps her hand on my straining dick through my pants. “Tonight, Vain. Only once. That’s the rule.”
