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However, living with three other adults is a lot sometimes and we all know that we need time on our own here and there.
We also know that we each need time one on one with Danielle. She’s the love of my life. I really like Nathan and Michael and I especially like what they do for her, but I will never give up a chance to be with her by myself.
"I’m looking forward to having you to myself," I tell her.
"I’m glad." She pauses. "And my answer is both."
"Both what?"
"Cheeseburgers and nachos."
I grin down at her and run my hand down to rest on her belly.
"Michael’s also very concerned about my calorie intake. I figure that won’t be a problem if we get both."
"I can definitely get you calories," I tell her.
"And fun." She sighs. "I love Nathan and Michael so much, but they’ve been so intense. I know you and I can just relax tonight, and I’m so ready for that."
"You don’t want to talk about baby stuff?"
She shakes her head. "No. Is that okay? I feel like that’s all we talk about around here."
"Sure, that’s totally okay. I want you to know that I’m always happy to talk about it, but if you need a break from it, I’m good for that, too."
"Thank you. I definitely want to talk to you about it sometimes. Just…not tonight."
I stroke my hand back and forth across her stomach. The baby bump is evident now, and I love the way I can cup her belly with my hand.
She rests her hand on mine. "Do you want to talk about hockey? Or the last game?"
I blow out a breath. "I really don’t. Is that okay?"
"Totally okay. You know I’m here if you want to talk."
"I actually want to focus on the things that are more important than hockey," I tell her, moving my hand over her belly. "The weddings, the baby, everything has made me realize that yes, I love hockey and I want to keep playing and I really feel like I have some of my best seasons ahead, but…it’s not everything anymore, Dani. I’ve got so much more than that to think about and love."
She squeezes my hand. "I’m so glad you feel that way." She pauses, then adds, "But I love watching you play and you are so hot when you’re on the ice, so you need to keep playing."
I lean over and kiss her deeply. "Yeah, okay, just for you, sweet girl. Though I’m pretty hot off the ice as well."
She giggles and kisses me back and in that moment it hits me that this baby could be mine and I can’t take a deep breath for a second.
It’s not the first time it’s occurred to me, of course, and none of us actually care whose baby it is. We are all equally committed to this family, no matter whose actual DNA ended up mixing with Dani’s. But for some reason, in this moment, it grips me especially hard.
This growing belly on this gorgeous, sweet, loving, amazing woman could be my baby.
And Dani puts up with all of my crap. My pouting after this loss, the fact that I wasn’t ready to get married when everyone else was, the fact that I freaked out about the pregnancy at first.
She loved me through all of it. She accepted me wherever I was at, she was fine with whatever I was ready for, as long as we were together.
And it’s in that moment, talking about nachos and just chilling on our couch, that I realize I will never be happy without her. I will never not want to be with her. There will never be a time when this—all of this, the home with Michael and Nathan, the baby, ordering nachos instead of salads—will not be exactly what I want.
I need to marry this girl.
Soon.
I lift my head and run my hand over her cheek. "Okay, I’m ordering the food."
