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“We’re looking into options right now, but I’ll let you know when we decide,” Grey said smoothly.
“I’ll be sure to clear my calendar. For what it’s worth, I think it’s a great idea. What better way to lift spirits than a wedding?”
I would’ve preferred safety to a party, but what did I know?
Apparently, that was all he wanted to know since he moved back to business immediately after. The artist he’d worked with had already completed their second commission, and he was ecstatic to get it into the city. After finalizing the arrival, Grey and I left.
Because he was amazing, he waited until Geneva pulled away from the building to ask. “I didn’t know you were thinking about moving up the wedding.”
“I wasn’t,” I admitted. “Something that Kincaid said got to me. Cash has been dragging the city down, and whether they know it or not, everyone can feel the tension. We need a little joy, a little excitement. Something to remind everyone that they’ve been prosperous with us. Because of us. Besides, what better way to show Cash we aren’t cowed by his attempt to take me out than to throw a party?”
I expected Grey to agree with me as always, but he didn’t.
“Do you have a better plan?”
We rarely ever saw things differently, and I was curious. While I ruled independently most of the time, I couldn’t ignore the fact that Grey was my most trusted adviser, and whether he liked it or not, he ruled at my side.
“No, the wedding makes sense.” But something was bothering him. I looked at him, and it hit me almost immediately.
“You’re worried.”
I didn’t recognize it at first because fear wasn’t an emotion Greyson often showed, but it was there in the furrow of his brow and the tightness of his shoulders. When he didn’t answer, I slid across the seat and climbed into his lap. Geneva didn’t hesitate to roll up the privacy window, and I appreciated her more than ever for it.
Alone and separate from the world, I let myself soften away from the Marcosa queen I always had to be. Wrapping my fingers in his hair, I tugged his head up to sweep my lips against his. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He leaned forward to deepen the kiss, but I kept myself out of reach. Grey and I were good at sex, but this felt like something he’d allowed to fester. I couldn’t let that happen.
Realizing I wasn’t dropping it, Grey wrapped his hands around my hips, keeping me pressed tight to him. “I almost lost you.”
The strain on his face was painful to see. He looked wrecked, and it was all my fault.
“But you didn’t.”
“Don’t do that,” he snapped. “Don’t pretend it’s no big deal. You nearly died, reina. I just got you, and you almost died.”
The crack in his voice told me more than words how much the thought of losing me gutted him. I understood his pain, but it was like the reality of the situation hadn’t quite computed. I knew Cash had almost killed me, but it felt like a movie I’d watched. Like it was someone else’s life entirely.
Grey’s fingers clenched against me, almost to the point of pain, but I didn’t move. He needed it to ground him, and after all he’d done, it was the least I could do. “I keep seeing you in that hospital bed, still and sleeping, while I’m wondering if you’ll ever wake up again.”
Christ.
This was more than just bad memories, and I didn’t know how to fix any of it. How could I convince him I was fine when his brain reminded him of his worst nightmare over and over? How was I supposed to help when I was struggling with the same thing?
Framing his face with my hands, I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed him.
It was meant to be something soft and sweet, reassuring, but that wasn’t enough for Grey. He hauled me as close as possible and ravished my mouth. His grip tightened, bruising as he kept me trapped against him. For a moment, I wondered if it would trigger something in me, but all I felt was safe.
As he took my mouth, Grey ran teasing circles across my thigh with his hand, having bypassed the skirt. Warmth flowed through me, but I tried not to think about it. This wasn’t about sex. It was about comfort. But he was hard under my thighs and ass, and every move he made had him grinding against me. We both pulled back, gasping for air as he reached the junction of my thighs.
“Fuck.” I didn’t know what he was trying to do to me, but I was dying. I wanted his hands all over me even when I knew it wasn’t the time.
“I keep dreaming that you’re dead,” he confessed, his words a haunted whisper against my lips. “I close my eyes, and I see you on the floor of that warehouse bleeding out. I can’t reach you. I can’t protect you. You’re just dying there alone, and I have to watch.”
My chest ached at the pain in his voice, but I couldn’t fix it. Not on my own. Grey was the only one who could tell me what to do.
“How do I make it go away?” I asked him.
“I need you. Under me, on top of me, whatever. I just need to feel you, so I can prove to myself that you’re alive.”
