Page 435 of Every Breath After


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Her absence…and our bond sealing that divide, as best we could, finally.

The funeral Izzy should’ve had all along.

And one we all needed to move forward.

Now, Jeremy stands before me with the brightest of tears in his eyes as he smiles back at me. “I hope you’re right. I hope one day it will be okay.”

And just like that, something heavy drops in my gut. My knees weaken, and I shake my head.

What is he?—

“I love you.”

Time stops. The universe rattling, quivering, set to implode?—

“And before you tell me you love me too, or misconstrue what I’m saying, I mean…I love you…Mason. I’m in love with you.”

On the outside, I’m utterly still. I don’t so much as blink. All I can do is stare at him, wondering if perhaps I’m dreaming, and that’s why he looks so inhumanly beautiful right now, as impossibilities spill from his lips.

Because surely—surely—Jeremy Montgomery, the boy I’ve known since I was six, my anchor through all these years, the boy I once made my mission to protect and keep happy…isn’t confessing that he’s in love with me.

Me…

The selfish asshole who’s put him through the ringer these last few years.

The guy who drunkenly, messily kissed him in this goddamn cemetery…then again, sober and impulsively, on a deserted sidewalk, with nothing in mind but my need to satiate some itch—some curiosity—one I’d had for years, and was finally no longer able to deny, after having finally gotten a taste. A muddled one at that, a kiss I had to rectify, to be certain…

Me, the least deserving fucker out there to be loved by him…

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Shaking my head, I press my lips tightly together.

He can’t mean it…he can’t.

Because if he does…

If he does…

The implications are terrifying.

This changes everything.

He has to know that, right?

“It’s okay,” he says, nodding, giving me a watery smile, and fuck if it doesn’t break me wide open. “I’m not expecting you to say it back. I’m not under any illusion that what I feel is returned.”

My pulse races—a protest sitting right on my lips.

“I’m only telling you because…” He lifts his shoulders. “Because I can’t carry it in me anymore. I’m tired, Mase.” His voice cracks on my name. “I’m tired, and I’m in love with you, and I know it’s wrong—so fucking wrong—but I meant what I said in that text months ago—I’m terrified of losing you.

“You’ve been my best friend since the second you stepped in front of Clay and his friends, like a superhero from my comics come to life, right off the pages. For years, you were my only friend. And—” He quickly cuts himself off, shaking his head and dropping his gaze. Wetting his lips, he says shakily, “It hurts. It hurts so fucking much, loving you, and knowing I can never have you.”

“Jer,” I croak, shaking my head.

He holds up a hand. “Just…let me get this out, okay? This isn’t easy for me.”

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