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Squirt wore his hat for months….
Until it was long enough for Mom to…to pin it back.
With barrettes.
Pink ones…
Mom blows out a breath. “Yeah.”
“The clips.” I nod, as all the pieces fall into place. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. So what if he liked to wear pink clips in his hair? It made him happy.
Mom goes on to explain how later that day, once Squirt had calmed down, she asked him to talk about it. Explain why he was so upset. She tells me how he told her that he looked like a boy…
“And I asked him, are you not a boy?” Mom smiles sadly.
I swallow thickly. “That was a while ago.”
“Well, we wanted to talk to someone first. Get all the information we could. Play it day by day. And Squirt was okay with keeping it a secret. Pretending she was undercover still.” Mom’s eyes twinkle at that, and I find myself smiling.
“But now that kindergarten’s out of the way, and she’s getting older…”
She.
That’s gonna take some getting used to.
Mom explains to me the plan, what’s next, and how we go about it.
“Is she going to change her name?” I ask.
Mom smiles proudly, and I realized I just called Squirt a she for the first time. Just like that. I didn’t even think about it.
Maybe…maybe it won’t be so hard after all.
“Yes.”
“Good,” I say, nodding. “But I’m still calling hi–her Squirt.”
Scratch that.
Wincing, I shake my head, angry with myself for already messing this up.
Mom grabs my hands again, and leans forward, arms resting on her thighs. “It’s okay. She only decided last week she’s done pretending to be a boy. It’s going to take us all some time to adjust, but we’ll get there.”
I grit my teeth and nod.
“So you’re okay with this?” Mom says, her forehead scrunching.
I make a face. “Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not h-her fault that the doctors or God or whoever screwed up.”
She snorts at that.
I shrug. “I just want Squirt happy.”
Mom reaches for me, pulling me into a tight hug. “You’re a good kid, Mase. Smart too.”
“Mom,” I whine, laughing and squirming in her hold.
Easing back, she levels me with a serious look. “Not everyone will be okay with this.”
